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richfed
Sachem
USA
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May 13 2002
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 Posted - July 24 2002 : 1:52:08 PM
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... that I allowed frustrations and several other factors to cloud my judgement. I acted impulsively & shut down the Board & canceled further planning of Mohican Gatherings. At the moment I did that, I thought it was permanent. Boy, what a difference a few minutes make!
It didn't take long before I realized I had made a huge mistake, but other factors combined to make the situation even worse, as those of you around here back then well remember.
It was a real struggle after that point ... but somehow, this place endured, though, it seemed, under a dark cloud.
Then 9/11 ...
It matters not to me, who was right & who was wrong. Certainly the answer to that lies somewhere in between. Probably, more important than right & wrong, was misunderstanding & lack of good communication. It's all water under the bridge now, and for my part, I choose to remember the bonds, the comraderie, the play & the work, that all combined to form good friendships.
It's a shame what happened.
Most of you remained somewhat neutral ... probably because you really didn't know what the heck was going on. A few chose sides. That's fine & something friends do. It was most unfortunate that I was a part in causing you to feel like you had to do that. Very sorry! I'm mostly sorry, though, that I allowed clouded judgement to hurt another person - especially in that it was someone I cared about. We all suffered because of it.
No matter what side you chose, if you did, I ask that you now put it aside & remember the good times ... a year has gone by and that is far too long.
I can only speak for myself, but perhaps, in some strange way, it was needed ... I don't know. I do know that the Board has rejuvenated itself - as Dances With Beagles said, maybe back in February, it was in the process of redefining itself - and that's not because of the missing folks, but because those of us left HAD to to it, if we wanted to keep MohicanLand a viable place. I thank those of you who stuck it out from the bottom of my heart.
The Fifth Annual Great Mohican Gathering was proof to me that we had very much succeeded in that. Again, not because folks were not there, but in spite of it. MohicanLand is a "real" entity & is stronger than any of us.
That's a good thing.
It's been a long healing process for a lot of us ... and I want you all to know that the two main "combatants" are right now conversing again &, I think, on the right track. I hope I'm not jumping the gun! Yeah, that's Marcia & me. It feels good to me.
I fully regret everything that happened ... a word here, a word there, and it might never even have happened!
You see, a lot of bad things happened in those days following July 24, 2001. Horrible things were said, by me & about me. Feelings were hurt, mine & others. I don't care about any of it. It's out the window; meaningless at this point.
What matters is repairing the damages & becoming friends again. And seeing to it that it is never allowed to happen again. That's what this place has always been about. I hope & pray to God that the healing will one day be complete. As some of you know, that is very important to me, and I have strived to see it to fruition. Again, I may be jumping the gun, but I don't think so.
If we all valued what we had, then we all need to rise above it, forgive, and truly forget ...
It's being worked on. I'm there already. I hope all of you are, too!
And, I'm writing this on my lunch hour, so I sure do hope that it says what I intended for it to say!
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Theresa
Bumppo's Tavern Proprietress
USA
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May 17 2002
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Posted - July 24 2002 : 6:04:23 PM
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Rich, I now have happy tears. This sounds like a good step toward a long healing process. I know that you are working extremely hard at making ammends. I, for one Mohicanlander, thank you. It's not been easy from this end, either....seeing two (and more than that sometimes) people I and others care about deeply hurting. We love this place called Mohicanland and all of its residents. No way were we going to let it die. 
And, Anth...Rich can do what he wishes about filling you in, but I for one would rather not go down that road again.
Theresa |
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Christie
Pioneer
USA
Bumppo's Patron since [at least]:
July 02 2002
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Posted - July 24 2002 : 7:19:14 PM
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Rich,
Sorry for the cliche, but as the saying goes "Time heals all wounds." Of course, time can be fickle and the length can last from several days to several years or decades, but that's besides the point. No matter who said what or the events that occured, it's great to hear there's open communication again. Most importantly, you and Elaine were willing to take a chance to host a 5th gathering plus keep the message board alive. You still have a colorful host of characters who post and hopefully those lost will return. As I've said before, many thanks to you and Elaine for creating this "monster" and keeping the rest of us LOTM fans sane. It's nice to feel a part of a group.
Christie
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Adele
The Huggy Merchant
Bumppo's Patron since [at least]:
May 17 2002
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Posted - July 25 2002 : 04:49:07 AM
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quote:
It's been a long healing process for a lot of us ... and I want you all to know that the two main "combatants" are right now conversing again &, I think, on the right track. I hope I'm not jumping the gun! Yeah, that's Marcia & me. It feels good to me.
I sincerely wish you luck in your attempts at reconciliation...and also hope that those caught in the crossfire will also be able to renew acquaintance. It is not just those who took sides who suffered a loss, some who chose to stay entirely out of it had their inaction interpreted as a lack of caring and as a result, lost some good friends. It would be nice at least to see an end to hard feelings.
I also agree with a previous poster..we don't wish to travel that road again...for most of us, this is a safe haven, a positive place with positive people...to be enjoyed and appreciated. Let's keep it that way!
HM
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Christina
Deerslayer
USA
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May 27 2002
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Posted - July 25 2002 : 11:48:27 AM
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Rich,
it means so much to read your heartfelt post. Since last year I've cried many tears and had many thoughts about what happened, and also have done a lot of praying that all "sides" would eventually reconcile. Now it seems as if that may be happening. I am very thankful for that and hope you know how much this place means to me in the two years I've been part of "Mohicanland." It broke my heart to think that some of the friendships and bonds were broken last year and then renewed me to see things rise from "the rubble." Thanks for all you do and I truly hope all can be reconciled! I'm already thinking of Gathering 2003...
Christina
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richfed
Sachem
USA
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May 13 2002
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Posted - July 25 2002 : 12:45:13 PM
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quote:
I also agree with a previous poster..we don't wish to travel that road again...for most of us, this is a safe haven, a positive place with positive people...to be enjoyed and appreciated. Let's keep it that way!
Agreed, Huggy!
quote:
I'm already thinking of Gathering 2003...
Me, too, Christina!!!!!
quote:
You still have a colorful host of characters who post and hopefully those lost will return.
YES! On both counts, Christie ... the former is a given, for which I am eternally grateful; the latter is something to shoot for, and things look much brighter in that regard today than they did just a couple of weeks ago!
quote:
I now have happy tears.
Feel good, don't they, Theresa!?
OK ... so ... uh ... how's the weather???  |
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Stephanie
Gathering Sachemess
USA
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June 23 2002
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Posted - July 25 2002 : 5:08:12 PM
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Rich,
Thanks for the heartfelt and sincere post. Yes, many of us never knew what happened (and we'll leave it that way) but people were missed sorely at this year's Gathering. All groups grow and change, we have some great new additions. Now wouldn't it be nice to see some old familiar faces again in 03?
You know how you get a lot of emails forwarded to you and you only half-read them? I got one the other day I wish I could find now becuase it was so appropriate. It was about 2 friends walking through the desert, and when one friend did something bad to the other one, the offended wrote it down in the sand. When the friend did something good, the other guy etched it in stone. FInally he was asked why, and he said the insults we receive should be written in sand so they can blow quickly away, but we should always be able to remember the good things our friends bring us, and make the permanent record of the friendship.
Here's hoping all your trespasses get blown away in the sand....
Stephanie
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Belinda
Lost in the Wilderness
Bumppo's Patron since [at least]:
July 11 2002
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Posted - July 25 2002 : 5:18:52 PM
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Dear Rich:
I am so happy to hear the news. Life is TOO SHORT not to make up and be friends. Who knows maybe the 2003 gathering will see old friends show up and be the best one to date.
Belinda Starnes |
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Scott Bubar
Colonial Militia
USA
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May 17 2002
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Posted - July 25 2002 : 5:42:47 PM
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I recall that day and the sick feeling of utter shock and dismay. (I had no idea whatsoever what was behind it.)
Speaking of "This Day in History", I notice the Andrea Doria looking unwell at the top of the page.
I remember that day too, sort of.
Lord I feel old.
~~Aim small, miss small. |
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Stephanie
Gathering Sachemess
USA
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June 23 2002
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Posted - July 25 2002 : 6:17:15 PM
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Belinda! Great to hear from you! Hope to see you in 03!
Stephanie
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Gadget Girl
Gatherer of Gathering Gadgets
USA
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May 17 2002
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Posted - July 25 2002 : 6:51:42 PM
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Steph, I think I passed that one on called "sand and stone" and it had been passed to me from Bea (thanks). I got several replies from friends on how that was one of the better ones passed along of late. I TOO, had exactly this situation in mind when I forwarded it. I agree with everyone's comments above and hope more than you know that things will move again in a positive direction. Two dear friends at odds with each other is a painful experience I don't hope to witness ever again. I've always said this place was magic, and I've always held out hope that raw places would heal and the magic would again bring us all together!!!! WHERE WE BELONG - together as good respectful friends that share so many common grounds of interests and a deep-felt, genuine concern for one another (as displayed in Rich's post).
Ahhhh Geeeeez! I love you guys!!!!!! Group Hug!!!! (If'n you can get past me ole eyeball - Arrrrrrrrghggggghhhhhh)  
Di
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richfed
Sachem
USA
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May 13 2002
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Posted - July 25 2002 : 7:26:02 PM
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As I reread this, there are some things I might have reworded, but overall, it pretty much says what I wanted it to say.
One thing, an omission:
quote:
I can only speak for myself, but perhaps, in some strange way, it was needed ... I don't know. I do know that the Board has rejuvenated itself - as Dances With Beagles said, maybe back in February, it was in the process of redefining itself - and that's not because of the missing folks, but because those of us left HAD to to it, if we wanted to keep MohicanLand a viable place. I thank those of you who stuck it out from the bottom of my heart.
I didn't mean there to imply that those who didn't stick it out are in some sort of "disfavor." To the contrary, I fully respect your decision to do what you thought was right ... as anybody should. I know, from in-depth personal discussion with one of those who "left" ... over a year's time ... that there was much pain in making, and sticking with, that decision.
And that's the bottom line ... there was pain for all who were here. There's nothing better for pain of this sort, than to spend "quality" time with those who endured the same!
That's all ... |
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Theresa
Bumppo's Tavern Proprietress
USA
Bumppo's Patron since [at least]:
May 17 2002
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Posted - July 26 2002 : 08:38:25 AM
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quote:
I now have happy tears.
Feel good, don't they, Theresa!?
They sure do, Rich.
Theresa
Edited by - Theresa on July 26 2002 08:43:54 AM |
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Doc M
Great Quack Healer of the Frontier
USA
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May 17 2002
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Posted - July 26 2002 : 12:14:23 PM
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Group hug, eh?? Doc M LOOVES group hugs!! That way everybody
is standing in one spot and she can throw a net over the
lot of them and slap 'em into the Mohicanland Clinic for
the Terminally Weird for the weekend! You'll love it, people.
Trust Kindly Old Doc M. Where else can you find lanyard
weaving and electro-shock therapy for the same low low price???
PS Doc M's new pet (pictured) Mr. Woozle-Snoogums, wants a
hug too!!
Kissys!
Doc M
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ellen
Pathfinder
USA
Bumppo's Patron since [at least]:
July 25 2002
Status: offline
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Posted - July 27 2002 : 01:23:16 AM
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Dear Dear Rich,
Thank you so much for your posting. As Jill and I were "newbies" in 01 the happenings a year ago and following weeks threw us a curve. As I have told you before, Jill and I travelled to this wonderful place called Mohicanland only knowing two names, really. Rich and Marcia. When we arrived at the Geneva you were the first two people we met, then Kate, of course.
In those short days we had such a wonderful time and made many new friends that we want to keep in touch with.
I can't tell you how relieved I am that the two of you are conversing now. I know Marcia is going through a very difficult time now and needs all of our prayers. I can only imagine the comfort she will receive from hearing from you again. I will pray that the conversations continue until you are back on firm ground again. It may not be able to be the same as before for either of you but I am so happy you are both trying.
I wasn't able to go to the Gathering this year but I thought about you guys every day it was happening. I was just telling Jill this evening about the expanded? version (Maybe?) for next year and I saw an excitement return to her that hadn't been there for a year.
Friends are always in short supply. So it was especially rewarding when we met all the wonderful people in 01.
Thank you, thank you. I am sure it was a wonderful Gathering in 02 but what a joy it would be if we could all be there for 03.
Ellen
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Belinda
Lost in the Wilderness
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July 11 2002
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Posted - July 30 2002 : 10:39:26 AM
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Ellen:
I have been reading messages time to time to see if you post. My computer has been broke for a while but it was great to read your message. I had a wonderful time at the 2001 gathering meeting you and Jill. I hope you can make it to 2003 so we can visit again.
Friends,Joe& Belinda
Belinda Starnes |
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richfed
Sachem
USA
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May 13 2002
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Posted - July 30 2002 : 7:34:25 PM
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quote:
Friends are always in short supply. So it was especially rewarding when we met all the wonderful people in 01.
Thank you, thank you. I am sure it was a wonderful Gathering in 02 but what a joy it would be if we could all be there for 03.
Good to see you around these parts, Ellen ... just reading over this thread ... and thinking ...
I said I didn't think that I was jumping the gun ... and I didn't, but who knows! It's a private decision that an individual(s) will make. There are a lot of elements, I'm quite sure, that will go into it. So, though I was feeling optimistic, I really don't know.
One thing I can tell you, if all goes well and if ... well, let's just say that that is one instance when I wouldn't mind at all it being a really large Gathering!!!! 
Right now, though, with a trip from Florida to Charlotte, NC underway, there are more important things for MMMM to concern herself with. |
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Bill R
Colonial Militia
USA
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July 03 2002
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Posted - August 21 2002 : 1:09:12 PM
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Well, I'll stick my oar in the water on THIS one......(and when have I been able to NOT stick that damn oar in whether needed or not? :) There were times I stuck said oar in the water and wished I had shoved it up my butt instead...)
That was a very nicely said post Rich. It took a lot of thought, and a lot of character to describe it all as well and as objectively as you did. I was very happy to see those words, and apologize for not visiting more often and seeing them sooner than today. I needed very much to see them. And now that I have, please accept my apology for any hurtful things I said back then. With your (and Mohicanland's) agreement, I will put that time totally and forever behind me now and begin anew? Or more rightfully stated, will again build on the GOOD memories and comradery to produce new adventures if you and the group are so willing?
Each participant has to make their own decisions as to where to go from that unhappy day. For me, having heard your words and made MY apology now, I hope that unhappy time can be relegated to the delete bin and the Gnome can return to his toadstool.
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richfed
Sachem
USA
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May 13 2002
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Posted - August 21 2002 : 6:49:18 PM
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All I can say, Bill, is we ought to be able to find you ONE HELL OF AN AVATAR!!!!
No, actually, I can say more than that ... and, I will ...
It was such a bad time! Folks on both sides said regretful things, standing up for who they thought was right. Most got caught in the crossfire whirlwind, or thought of things that they might have said to have contributed to the mess. Oh boy ...  Many of us feel a bit beaten up ... it's time to let it go.
It's easy to get mad & have spats - admittedly, that one was more than a "spat" - but, when you boil all the water away, most feuds don't amount to a hill of beans in the grand scheme of things.
For me, it's very hard to stay angry very long - at ANYBODY. I don't like the feeling AT ALL [being angry, I mean]. I choose to forgive & forget ... and, hopefully, to be forgiven [but, NOT forgotten!  ] Especially so when it's friends we're talking about!
I hope that all others can feel the same ... it's not about wrong. It's about making wrong right ... again. I say, "let's get it on!" It's been a long ride ... we'll see who comes along for the rest of it!
Peace, Bill ... and pull up a toadstool. Doc Mary is waiting ...  As far as I'm concerned, this is/was/will be home to many. Anyone who has ever lived here is welcome back again ... |
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Adele
The Huggy Merchant
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May 17 2002
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Posted - August 22 2002 : 07:14:56 AM
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I feel a thought coming on....wait for it....wait....here it comes....
"Who seeks a friend without a fault remains without one." (Turkish Proverb)
ummm...wait...one more.....*strains*......
When Silence is Beyond Words
There may be moments in friendship, as in love, when silence is beyond words. The faults of our friend may be clear to us, but it is well to seem to shut our eyes to them. Friendship is usually treated by the majority of people as a tough and everlasting thing which will survive all manner of bad treatment. But this is an exceedingly great and foolish error; its conditions of existence are that it should be dealt with delicately and tenderly, being as it is a sensible plant and not a roadside thistle. We must not expect our friend to be above humanity.
(Ouida)
Phew...ok...am done! Welcome home Billy-gnome! So glad to have you back....and I hope that we may see a few more friends come home soon!
HM
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Doc M
Great Quack Healer of the Frontier
USA
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May 17 2002
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Posted - August 22 2002 : 09:29:11 AM
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*sniff! sniff! sniff!* What is that SMELL???!!! And what is
that just outside the front door of the Mohicanland Clinic???
Could it be...GNOME POO???!!!! AGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!
Doc M, rummaging frantically in the back of her cupboard
and blowing the dust off her patented GnomeSnare!
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Bill R
Colonial Militia
USA
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July 03 2002
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Posted - August 22 2002 : 5:14:06 PM
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Noooooooo.........no, Doc M. T'wastn't me! The gnome has been somewhat constipated of late. (note to self: lay off the portabello mushrooms in tomato sauce and mozarella). However, since you are SUCH a dear, I shall hurry myself to the apothecary for a good dose of the 18th century equivalent of exlax and most happily decorate your doorway since you CLEARLY have missed my endearing little ways!
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Ilse
The Dutch Trader
Netherlands
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May 17 2002
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Posted - August 22 2002 : 6:06:13 PM
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I will probably catch hell for this, but what the hell.
Reconciliation is nice, but has to come from two sides. About one year ago, Rich raised some issues and problems with the functioning of the board and the gatherings. I do not feel that those have been addressed at all, instead a group of people left "the house" feeling wronged and, as far as I know, have refused to debate or even think about those issues.
As long as there is no public gesture from the "other side" to take the charges seriously and ponder them, and show some willingness to look into it, I am not game. Rich can reconcile if he wants to. That's his choice.
But not mine.
Ilse
Are you ready to be heartbroken?
Are you ready to bleed?
(Lloyd Cole & the Commotions, 1984) |
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richfed
Sachem
USA
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May 13 2002
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Posted - August 22 2002 : 6:47:26 PM
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Alas, my favorite Dutch Trader, you miss my point. But "hell"? Nah ... you're entitled to your opinion.
Read my original post again ... some things are more important, to me, than public gestures and pondering the issue that caused that ruckus in the first place. It was overblown, misunderstood, and easily avoidable with some communication. Who was at fault? Every single person involved, to one degree or another ... I'm willing take a good chunk of the blame, for sure. To go tit for tat in the apology stage ain't gonna work. Can't measure that stuff anyway ...
I'll say it again ... forgive & forget. The people are way more important than harboring malice ...
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Bill R
Colonial Militia
USA
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July 03 2002
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Posted - August 22 2002 : 7:01:27 PM
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No problemo Ilse. And NOT surprising to me at all. Why on earth would the pot stirrer wish to reconcile? Much more fun to stir the pot. Since we are being "honest" let me likewise be honest. I don't like you. Therefore it seems perfectly fair for you to not like me in return.
Let's leave it at that. I would point out though, that your pot stirring hurts Rich much more than myself and others. Nor am I surprised you seek a "debate" on those unhappy "issues" prior to any "reconciliation" from you. "Debate" being a synonym for stirring that friggin pot some more, of course. I didn't come back for YOU. I came back for Rich. I remain at HIS pleasure alone. When he wishes, I can leave. Today if that's his wish. And you need not worry, I won't be a pest around here. I don't visit a poisoned well often.
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richfed
Sachem
USA
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May 13 2002
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Posted - August 22 2002 : 7:19:34 PM
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This all disappoints me to no end ... and that really is all I can say. I am very saddened.
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It Was One Year Ago Today ...
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