Posted by Walter Crankite on May 05, 1999 at 06:41:23:
...Miss Adoo Addy and the Sassy Soothsayer were seen early this AM loading up Sassy's Purple Paisley Magic Carpet with a couple of box lunches from Miss Marcia's place, a cooler full of ale, iced tea, and mint juleps, some SPF 40 sunblock, and a gallon of Deep Woods Off! Sassy was heard to say, "There! That covers all the main necessities of Life, and should keep us comfy till our return from Mohicanland South!" And, with Miss Adoo whimpering, "...if the skeeters don't get us, the gators will!", they climbed aboard, turned left real sudden-like, and took off!
We DO NOT understand what is happening here...!?...who the heck told these two they could head out on an adventcha?? Why do THEY get to have fun, while the rest of us have to work?? Who do they think they are?? *grouse, grumble*
We will be watching closely for further developments, and will be as tenacious as a Old Crone's bulldog, while we're at it. We will hang on to this story to the end. They can't shake us! No matter how long it takes, no matter how far!! We will NEVER let go, Jack!...Ooops, different movie! Sorry!
Stay tuned to your local broadcasting channel for more on this fast-breaking story at the top of the hour...(not necessarily the CURRENT hour, you understand, but SOME hour!)
This Reporter, Over and Out,
Walter Crankite, Mohicanland's Crabbiest Anchorman
Motto: I'll report WHAT I feel like reporting, WHEN I feel like reporting it. If that doesn't suit you, GET OVER it!!