Re: Thought for the Day

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: : : We live in an age when pizza gets to your home before the police.

: : : 
: : : ~ Jeff Arder ~

: 
: : And here's something else...

: : 1.  Only in America......are there handicap parking places in front of 
: :    a skating rink. 2.  Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way 
: :    to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people 
: :    can buy cigarettes at the front. 3.  Only in America......do people order double cheeseburgers, large 
: :    fries, and a DIET coke. 4.  Only in America......do banks leave both doors open and then chain 
: :    the pens to the counters. 5.  Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in 
: :    the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.  6. Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM machines with 
: :    Braille lettering. 
: :     
: :      In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through 
: :    stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods: 
: :     
: :      1.  On Sears hair dryer: "Do not use while sleeping". [Gee, that's the 
: :    only time I have to work on my hair] 
: :      
: :      2.  On a bag of Fritos: "You could be winner! No purchase necessary. 
: :     Details inside." [Evidently, the shoplifter special] 
: :      
: :      3.  On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." [And 
: :    that would be how...?] 
: :      
: :      4.  On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestions: Defrost." 
: :    [But it's *just* a suggestion] 
: :      
: :      5.  On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of box): "Do not 
: :    turn upside down". [Oops, too late!] 
: :      
: :      6.  On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after 
: :    heating". [As sure as night follows the day...] 
: :      
: :      7.  On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body". 
: :    [But wouldn't this save even more time?] 
: :     
: :      8.  On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication". [We could do a lot to reduce 
: :    the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds 
: :    with head-colds off those forklifts.] 
: :      
: :      9.  On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness" [One would 
: :    hope] 
: :      
: :      10. On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use 
: :    only". [As opposed to what?] 
: :      
: :      11. On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use". 
: :    [I gotta admit, I'm curious]. 
: :      
: :      12. On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: Contains nuts". [NEWS FLASH] 
: :      
: :      13. On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: open packet, 
: :    eat nuts." [Step 3: Fly Delta] 
: :      
: :      14. On a child's Superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not 
: :    enable you to fly." [I don't blame the company. I do blame parents for this 
: :    one!]

: : Nathan

: =================

: heheheheh, Nathan, I love it......

: HM


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