Posted by Miss Marcia on May 04, 2001 at 21:41:09:
In Reply to: Twiggy Sprouts posted by She Who Tracks La Longue Carabine on May 04, 2001 at 19:39:15:
: Good evenin', Miss Twiggy. I'm pleased to meet ye and to welcome ye to my humble cabin. Uh - nice - - - wrap - - uh, leaf - - - ye have on there. Looks new, and such a becomin' Spring green. Does seem a bit light for such a cool evenin', though. Why don't ye come right in and sit yerself down by the fireplace - - - not too close, though. Wouldn't want ye to char yer skinny little legs any. Oh, by the way, this is my huntin' hound, Hector sniffin' around yer ankles. Don't mind him - - he won't bark at ye - - - oh, dear! Hector! That's not a polite thing to do to a new acquaintance! PUT YER LEG DOWN! So sorry, Miss Twiggy. Hector does not often get introduced to new people, bein' used to livin' in the forest and seein' trees and things in a different light than you and I. GET OUTSIDE HECTOR AND STOP YER WHININ'!
: Now, Miss Twiggy, ye look like ye are wiltin' with hunger. I never seed such a - - - er, delicate frame. Guess it's time ye got acquainted with some good venison stew and parched corn puddin' like we here in the forest eat to keep our strength up. Let me help ye to a bountiful plateful, and we'll get acquainted while we eat. Got a tumbler o' Birch Beer to go along with it to moisten yer roots a tad, too. Now, just a minute - - afore we start to eat, let us just compose our limbs and I'll axe a blessin' - - - OH, SORRY! Didn't mean to startle ye - - - I'll say Grace.
: Meant to tell ye - - - Miss Marcia will be joinin' us a little later to socialize a mite. She's one of Mohicanland's most delightful ladies and someone ye ought to know if ye plan on stayin' in the area. Runs rings around ye in the full-figger department, but has as pretty a face and as kind a heart as ye'll ever know. I just know ye'll turn out to be the best o' friends.
: She Who Tracks La Longue Carabine
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*meanwhile, back at Miss Marcia's Famous DownHome Kitchen*
"Well, I reckon She Who Tracks has a point in that flangin' pots around the kitchen won't help me keep my man outta the hands of some skinny, big-eyed waif. An' it ain't too good for the walls nor the pots, either. Maybe She is right, and I should head on over there this evening to make the acquaintance of this young lady, though it sounds like that may not be the most appropriate of terms for her.
Let's see...I most certainly want to make a good impression, whilst checking out the competition...can't have Twiggy Whats-Her-Face looking better than *I*, sartain. Where's my good sprigged muslin afternoon dress, now...lemme see...I think the cornflower blue will make my eyes look just perfect. And this bodice will be ever so-fetching laced up around my waist."
*oooomph...uggggh...urrrrk...*
*mutter* "...don't remember this thing being so dadgum TIGHT before..."
*squeeeeeeeeze...gasp!...oooooooooooommmmmmph...*
"...can't hardly lace it up at all...mebbe if I tie one end of the lace to the bedpost, and then kinda lean back away from it I can pull this tighter...musta shrunk it when I last washed it down at the crick!...DANG!!! *PUUUUUUUUUULLLL....PULL, PULL, PULL...*
*teensy, breathless squeaky voice*
"...there...all laced up...pant, pant...that's just perfect...gasp, gasp...I feel a little lightheaded, but I'm sure that will pass...wheeeeeeze...gonna head...pant, pant...on over...gasp, gasp...to She's now....wheeze, wheeze, wheezle...."
"...gasp, pant, gasp...almost there...I can see her cabin ahead...sorta hard to focus on it...pant, pant...with all these yellow spots swimmin' around in front of my eyes...gasp, gasp...but I'm almost...wheeeezle...there.........."
"...sure glad I wore...gaspy gaspy...my best outfit, though...wheezly wheeze...I don't understand...huff, puff, puff...how it could have shrunk so...wheeeeeeeeeeze...just...gonna...knock...on She's...door..."
*knock....knock.........knock.....THUMP!*