Re: Twiggy Sprouts & Miss Marcia Blossoms & And It's Curtains All Around!

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Posted by Miss Marcia on May 06, 2001 at 21:37:04:

In Reply to: Re: Twiggy Sprouts & Miss Marcia Blossoms posted by She Who Tracks La Longue Carabine on May 04, 2001 at 22:16:25:

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: LORDAMERCY! The cabin door just blew open like it was hit by a cannonball! Gracious, Miss Twiggy, ye're a wavin' and a bendin' in that breeze and about to fall into the fire after all! Here, let me haul ye over into the wicker rockin' chair so's ye can get yer breath!

: And what's this ball o' - - - LORDAMERCY AGAIN!!! If it isn't Miss Marcia upside down top over teakettle just with her pantaloons astickin' outten her crinolines and her best sprigged muslin up around her neck! Miss Marcia! Miss Marcia! Are ye in there? Here, let me right ye and smooth down yer pretty skirts and - - - oh dear, some damage done to the curls and fringes, but that's all right - - ye can borrow my porcupine quill brush to right yer locks. Now, what IS all this - - are ye bein' chased or did ye just trip over the door sill? Never seed ye make such a dramatic entrance!

: Have a sip o' this water and rest yerself a minute, and I'll introduce ye to Miss Twiggy. Gracious, I hope ye're all right!

: She
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*gasp, pant, pant*

Oh, my! Oh, me! Thank y'all kindly, She, for helpin' me up an' all...I seem to have gotten myself completely out of breath on the way over, but I'm feeling better already. I can't imagine WHAT was wrong! But if you'll just fetch me some more of that nice, cool water, I'll straighten out my gown here, and try to compose myself in a more genteel and RE-fined manner.

My! It's certainly gotten cooler out, hasn't it? Don't y'all feel a draft?? Hmmmmmmm...come to think of it, it's only my back that feels so cool. You there, what do they call you? Twiggy? Pleased to make your acquaintance, I'm sure, but could you just see what's happening BEHIND me, like? Somethin' just don't feel right.

What the heck are you giggling about back there? Whaddya mean you've never seen a plunging neckline in the BACK before? What plunging neckline? ACCCCCK!!! Is that your ice cold, bony little fingers pokin' my bare spine??????? You mean the whole back of my bodice and dress have ripped open??? Well, I'm gonna have me a word or two with them down to Marvin's Meretricious Mercantile! This dress cost me a pretty penny, I can assure you, and I cannot imagine why it would split open like that!!! And just how am I gonna get home, I'd like to know??? Oh, there you are She...would you take a look at what this gal has found, and make sure she's tellin' me true. STOP YER DADGUM LAUGHIN'!!! You two are gettin' ENTIRELY too much enjoyment out of my predicament!

Now, She...how the heck am I gonna get home? I can't go traipsin' around Mohicanland in my unmentionables! Don't you have a nice dress I could borrow? Oh, sorry. Forgot about you not bein' the sort who puts much stock in femiNINE attire an' all. Well...how's about a blanket? Your bedroll? You mean the one Hector is stretched out on over there? No, thanks. I'll pass on that, if you don't mind. Well, there must be SOMETHIN' around here I can use to keep myself DECENT until I get home....wait a tick...what's that hangin' at the window there? A nice, green drapery of sorts? Seems to be plenty o' yardage to cover all the necessary parts of me...yes! I think this will do just fine.

Now that I'm all covered up in your best curtains, I think I should probably take myownself home, if you don't mind. Please excuse me, She...and beg your pardon, Twiggy, but I just wouldn't feel comfortable sitting down to dinner with y'all wearing She's window dressing. It was very nice meeting you, Twiggy, and you really must come by my Famous DownHome Kitchen for some fuu-uuuuuudge real soon, as you and I have some serious issues to discuss. Whaddya mean if it weren't for my fuu-uuuuudge, I wouldn't have to run around in somebody's ol' green curtains? I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT MY DRESS WAS OBVIOUSLY DEFECTIVE...AND DON'T YOU FORGET IT! I could snap you like...like...like a TWIG, you little hussy! I hereby retract my invitation to tea, and from henceforth, y'all better keep yer skinny self outta my way!!

Good day, She! *swirls drapery around herself and stomps off into the sunset, humming Tara's Theme*

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: : ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

: : LORDAMERCY!  The cabin door just blew open like it was hit by a cannonball!  Gracious, Miss Twiggy, ye're a wavin' and a bendin' in that breeze and about to fall into the fire after all!  Here, let me haul ye over into the wicker rockin' chair so's ye can get yer breath!

: :  And what's this ball o' - - - LORDAMERCY AGAIN!!!  If it isn't Miss Marcia upside down top over teakettle just with her pantaloons astickin' outten her crinolines and her best sprigged muslin up around her neck!  Miss Marcia!  Miss Marcia!  Are ye in there?  Here, let me right ye and smooth down yer pretty skirts and - - - oh dear, some damage done to the curls and fringes, but that's all right - - ye can borrow my porcupine quill brush to right yer locks.  Now, what IS all this - - are ye bein' chased or did ye just trip over the door sill? Never seed ye make such a dramatic entrance!

: : Have a sip o' this water and rest yerself a minute, and I'll introduce ye to Miss Twiggy.  Gracious, I hope ye're all right!

: : She
: ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

: *gasp, pant, pant*

: Oh, my!  Oh, me!  Thank y'all kindly, She, for helpin' me up an' all...I seem to have gotten myself completely out of breath on the way over, but I'm feeling better already.  I can't imagine WHAT was wrong!  But if you'll just fetch me some more of that nice, cool water, I'll straighten out my gown here, and try to compose myself in a more genteel and RE-fined manner.  

: My!  It's certainly gotten cooler out, hasn't it?  Don't y'all feel a draft??  Hmmmmmmm...come to think of it, it's only my back that feels so cool.  You there, what do they call you?  Twiggy?  Pleased to make your acquaintance, I'm sure, but could you just see what's happening BEHIND me, like?  Somethin' just don't feel right.

: What the heck are you giggling about back there?  Whaddya mean you've never seen a plunging neckline in the BACK before?  What plunging neckline?  ACCCCCK!!!  Is that your ice cold, bony little fingers pokin' my bare spine???????  You mean the whole back of my bodice and dress have ripped open???  Well, I'm gonna have me a word or two with them down to Marvin's Meretricious Mercantile!  This dress cost me a pretty penny, I can assure you, and I cannot imagine why it would split open like that!!! And just how am I gonna get home, I'd like to know???  Oh, there you are She...would you take a look at what this gal has found, and make sure she's tellin' me true.  STOP YER DADGUM LAUGHIN'!!!  You two are gettin' ENTIRELY too much enjoyment out of my predicament!

: Now, She...how the heck am I gonna get home?  I can't go traipsin' around Mohicanland in my unmentionables! Don't you have a nice dress I could borrow?  Oh, sorry.  Forgot about you not bein' the sort who puts much stock in femiNINE attire an' all.  Well...how's about a blanket?  Your bedroll?  You mean the one Hector is stretched out on over there? No, thanks.  I'll pass on that, if you don't mind.  Well, there must be SOMETHIN' around here I can use to keep myself DECENT until I get home....wait a tick...what's that hangin' at the window there?  A nice, green drapery of sorts?  Seems to be plenty o' yardage to cover all the necessary parts of me...yes!  I think this will do just fine.  

: Now that I'm all covered up in your best curtains, I think I should probably take myownself home, if you don't mind.  Please excuse me, She...and beg your pardon, Twiggy, but I just wouldn't feel comfortable sitting down to dinner with y'all wearing She's window dressing.  It was very nice meeting you, Twiggy, and you really  must come by my Famous DownHome Kitchen for some fuu-uuuuuudge real soon, as you and I have some serious issues to discuss.  Whaddya mean if it weren't for my fuu-uuuuudge, I wouldn't have to run around in somebody's ol' green curtains?  I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT MY DRESS WAS OBVIOUSLY DEFECTIVE...AND DON'T YOU FORGET IT!  I could snap you like...like...like a TWIG, you little hussy!  I hereby retract my invitation to tea, and from henceforth, y'all better keep yer skinny self outta my way!!

: Good day, She!  *swirls drapery around herself and stomps off into the sunset, humming Tara's Theme*


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