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Dances with Beagles
Colonial Settler
USA
Bumppo's Patron since [at least]:
May 19 2002
Status: offline
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 Posted - August 14 2008 : 09:07:35 AM
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It's my favorite time of year...not school....not the Olympics....it's time for the results of the Bulwer-Lytton contest!
http://www.bulwer-lytton.com/
Here are a few of my faves, and you can read the rest...
Like a mechanic who forgets to wipe his hands on a shop rag and then goes home, hugs his wife, and gets a grease stain on her favorite sweater - love touches you, and marks you forever.
Beth Fand Incollingo
Haddon Heights, N.J.
Timothy Hanson, Commander of the 43rd Space Regiment in the 52nd Battalion on board the USAOPAC (United Space Alliance Of Planets Attack Carrier) and second in command to Admiral L. R. Morris of the USAOP Space Command, awoke early for breakfast.
Joe Schulman
Cartersville, GA
Winner: Vile Puns
Vowing revenge on his English teacher for making him memorize Wordsworth's "Intimations of Immortality," Warren decided to pour sugar in her gas tank, but he inadvertently grabbed a sugar substitute so it was actually Splenda in the gas.
Becky Mushko
Penhook, VA
There are certain people in the world who emanate an aura of well being -- they radiate sunshine, light up a room, bring out the best in others, and fill your half empty glass to overflowing - yes it was these very people thought Karl, as he sharpened his mirror-finished guthook knife, who were top of his list.
Jason Garbett
London, U.K.
Creeping slowly over the hill, the sun seemed to catch the small village nestled in the valley by surprise, which is a bit unusual really, as you'd think that something with a diameter of 865,000 miles and a surface temperature of 5780 degrees Kelvin, and which is more normally seen from 93,000,000 miles away, wouldn't be able to creep anywhere, let alone catch anything by surprise.
Malcolm Booth
Brinsworth, Rotherham, U.K.
Tom and Kelly's relationship had hit a dead end, like that road in your neighborhood when you were little that everyone used to throw their old chairs away at, and then the kids would use them to build forts.
Diana Maloney
Northampton, MA
Enjoy!
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Gadget Girl
Gatherer of Gathering Gadgets
USA
Bumppo's Patron since [at least]:
May 17 2002
Status: offline
Donating Member |
Posted - August 14 2008 : 10:13:58 AM
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| Robin Meade had the winning entry (the best bad writing) on Headline News this morning. Funny Stuff! |
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Stephanie
Gathering Sachemess
USA
Bumppo's Patron since [at least]:
June 23 2002
Status: offline
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Posted - August 14 2008 : 3:17:16 PM
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I love these and always look forward to them! My favorites from previous years:
As a scientist, Throckmorton knew that if he were ever to break wind in the echo chamber, he would never hear the end of it.
Andre, a simple peasant, had only one thing on his mind as he crept along the East wall: Andre creep Andre creep Andre creep.
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Irishgirl
Council of Elders
USA
Bumppo's Patron since [at least]:
February 14 2006
Status: offline
Donating Member |
Posted - August 14 2008 : 9:27:16 PM
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Very funny ladies but for me "back to school"  is still the "most wonderful time of the year". Three months is just too long
Just over two weeks to go yipeee |
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The most wonderful time of the year...
