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Edmund McKinnon
Colonial Settler
USA
Bumppo's Patron since [at least]:
May 23 2002
Status: offline
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 Posted - November 05 2002 : 10:55:54 PM
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On my most recent trip to Loyalahanna for the Oct.19th film shoot,I again encountered Major Grant who played himself in the film.(Maj.Grant)"Lieutenant,I have some first-hand accounts of the battle that have never been seen before.Would you care to peruse them?"(Me)"Indeed I would Major where are they?"(Maj.Grant)"Well,ahhh,I don't have them with me(holds up a heavily edited copy of"The Papers of Henry Bouquet"Vol.II)but give me your address and I shall send them to you by dispatch."(Me)"Well what is this tucked into the spine of your book?It looks like a treasure map."(Maj.Grant)"Shhhh!"(gestures towards the seated mannequins)"This is the secret treasure map of General Braddock's hidden paychest.Montgomery has been trying to get it off me ever since we got here" (Me)"Well how do you know that he has designs for it?"(Maj.Grant bellowing)"ARE YOU INSANE MAN!?""They all want it"(faces the mannequins)"Don't just sit there,man,defend yourself"(and proceeds to slap the face of the Archibald Montgomery mannquin with his glove)"Stay right where you are Col.Washington,you're always siding with him"(Me)At this time I took the opportunity to slip out amid the confusion when last I heard a parting shot(Maj.Grant)"Col.Bouquet,you are not out of the woods yet by any means! EM
Capt.John Graham
Cmdr.42nd Highlanders
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SgtMunro
Soldier of the King
USA
Bumppo's Patron since [at least]:
September 23 2002
Status: offline
Donating Member |
 Posted - November 06 2002 : 03:52:35 AM
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...Later that night, in the officer's quarters of Fort Ligonier, we find Major Grant busy writting his memoirs...
(Knock at the door)
Grant: "Enter!"
(Pte. Grant, known to the rest of the sane world as David, enters the room)
David: "Hi, dad, look your wife made some sandwiches for you."
Grant: "Ahhh, Private Grant, place the vic-to-alls (Victuals, to the rest of us) on the serving table."
(Grant, staring intensly at the private)
Grant: "Why Private, you are out of uniform! Have you sold your regimental for drink?!!"
David: "Dad, I have to go to work now, I'll check on you in the morning."
Grant: "Work!!!! You are one of the King's Men! Have you not received the King's Bounty!"
David: "When are you coming home, dad?"
Grant: "I will have you shot for desertion!!!"
David: "Goodbye dad, I'll see you later."
Grant: "Come back here!!! I have not dismissed you from my presence!!!"
(David quietly closes the door, shakes his head, and departs the fort)
Grant: (Bellowing)"Corporal, see that the guards secure the fort! I want that man brought back to me! Summon the provost to my quarters immediately!!"
(The Major then looks at the manequins seated in various places within the room)
Grant: "Well gentlemen, I am pleased that you were here to witness that gross act of insubordination and 'unsoldierlike' conduct. We shall convene a Courts Martial in the morrow."
To Be Continued...
Sgt. Duncan Munro
Capt. Graham's Coy
1/42nd Royal Highlanders
"Nemo Me Impune Lacessit"
Edited by - SgtMunro on November 06 2002 03:54:23 AM |
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Grant's Defeat Accounts
