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richfed
Sachem
USA
Bumppo's Patron since [at least]:
May 13 2002
Status: offline
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 Posted - September 05 2006 : 8:13:58 PM
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An American is having breakfast, in Paris, one morning (coffee, croissants, bread, butter and jam) when a Frenchman, chewing bubble-gum, sits down next to him. The American ignores the Frenchman who, nevertheless, starts a conversation.
Frenchman: "You American folk eat the whole bread??"
American (in a bad mood): "Of course."
Frenchman: (after blowing a huge bubble) "We don't. In France, we only eat what's inside. The crusts we collect in a container, recycle it, transform them into croissants and sell them to the states.." The Frenchman has a smirk on his face.
The American listens in silence.
The Frenchman persists: "Do you eat jelly with the bread??"
American: "Of Course."
Frenchman: (cracking his bubble-gum between his teeth and chuckling).
"We don't. In France we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, then we put all the peels, seeds, and leftovers in
containers, recycle them, transform them into jam, and sell the jam to the states."
After a moment of silence, The American then asks: "Do you have sex in France?"
Frenchman: "Why of course we do", he says with a big smirk.
American: "And what do you do with the condoms once you've used them?"
Frenchman: "We throw them away, of course."
American: "We don't. In America, we put them in a container, recycle them, melt them down into bubble-gum, and sell them to France."
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Stephanie
Gathering Sachemess
USA
Bumppo's Patron since [at least]:
June 23 2002
Status: offline
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Wilderness Woman
Watcher of the Wood
USA
Bumppo's Patron since [at least]:
November 27 2002
Status: offline
Donating Member |
Posted - September 05 2006 : 8:50:24 PM
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Mighty glad I don't chew bubble gum!  |
"It is more deeply stirring to my blood than any imaginings could possibly have been." |
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Monadnock Guide
Council of Elders
USA
Bumppo's Patron since [at least]:
March 14 2005
Status: offline
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Posted - September 05 2006 : 9:37:40 PM
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| That's great Rich!!! True story, - back in the Stone Age when I was in high school we had this guy that today would be called a "nurd" I suppose. To make a long story short, - we put one in his "usual" noontime peanut butter sandwich. Well, he took a bite out of that thing, and wouldn't 'let go" - stretched that damn thing like you wouldn't believe. Almost had his eyes crossed tugging on it, - until he realized what was going on. About six of us rolling on the floor. For some reason he never sat anywhere near us again, - and he never said why. ;) |
you can keep "The Change" |
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Lady of Glencairn
Colonial Settler
South Africa
Bumppo's Patron since [at least]:
May 29 2004
Status: offline
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Posted - September 06 2006 : 02:15:21 AM
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Hahahaahahaha! I had that on email once. I think it was one of those chain mails that went around. I laughed then and I still laugh now.  |
Lady of Glencairn
"Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence" - H.L. Mencken |
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Obediah
Mohicanland Statesman
USA
Bumppo's Patron since [at least]:
August 16 2006
Status: offline
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Posted - September 06 2006 : 11:38:34 AM
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I once heard a story (probably about 30 years ago) which goes something like this:
quote:
Back in the days when the Soviet Union was still a going concern, their government attempted a PR coup by ordering 1000 cases of condoms from a North Carolina factory, stating the size should be 18" long by 4" in diameter. The factor promptly filled and shipped the order, stamping each box "MEDIUM".
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caitlin
Bumppos Tavern Patron
USA
Bumppo's Patron since [at least]:
May 17 2002
Status: offline
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Posted - September 06 2006 : 2:02:44 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Obediah
I once heard a story (probably about 30 years ago) which goes something like this:
quote:
Back in the days when the Soviet Union was still a going concern, their government attempted a PR coup by ordering 1000 cases of condoms from a North Carolina factory, stating the size should be 18" long by 4" in diameter. The factor promptly filled and shipped the order, stamping each box "MEDIUM".
Now, that is too funny.... |
Jack McCall: "Should we shake hands or something, relieve the atmosphere. I mean how stupid do you think I am?"
Wild Bill Hickok: "I don't know, I just met you."
"A nation with no regard to it's past will have little future worth remembering."
A.Lincoln
"Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize that they were the big things"
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Emily
Colonial Settler
USA
Bumppo's Patron since [at least]:
January 08 2005
Status: offline
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Posted - September 07 2006 : 10:27:52 AM
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You guys are awful....! |
"It is the unknown we fear when looking upon death and darkness, nothing more." |
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Monadnock Guide
Council of Elders
USA
Bumppo's Patron since [at least]:
March 14 2005
Status: offline
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Posted - September 07 2006 : 11:39:40 AM
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| Thanks Emily, - takes a little practice for some. You'll get the hang of it in time. ... ;) |
you can keep "The Change" |
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Light of the Moon
Mohicanland Statesman
USA
Bumppo's Patron since [at least]:
December 18 2004
Status: offline
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Posted - September 14 2006 : 9:29:12 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Monadnock Guide
That's great Rich!!! True story, - back in the Stone Age when I was in high school we had this guy that today would be called a "nurd" I suppose. To make a long story short, - we put one in his "usual" noontime peanut butter sandwich. Well, he took a bite out of that thing, and wouldn't 'let go" - stretched that damn thing like you wouldn't believe. Almost had his eyes crossed tugging on it, - until he realized what was going on. About six of us rolling on the floor. For some reason he never sat anywhere near us again, - and he never said why. ;)
Ya' know...that's almost amusing in a cruel sort of way. My  goes out to that poor guy. (Sorry y'all but I was always the "nurd" that people loved to pick on. And nerd is spelled with an "e" not "u"). Then one day I discovered brut force was a good repellant! and I discovered I was very scrappy! A little stick of dynamite!
By the way...how did we end up talking about condems on a "family friendly, teens living here" type of board?
Rich, my first response was: OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! followed by a giggle. |
I live in my own little world - but that's okay, they know me here! |
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richfed
Sachem
USA
Bumppo's Patron since [at least]:
May 13 2002
Status: offline
Administrator |
Posted - September 16 2006 : 08:34:29 AM
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quote:
By the way...how did we end up talking about condems on a "family friendly, teens living here" type of board?
Uh ... my fault! |
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![The Mohican Board! [Bumppo's Redux!]](images/wwwboard.gif "The Mohican Board! [Bumppo's Redux!]")
A Funny ...
Laughing, spitting out bubble gum!
