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The LIGHT IN THE FOREST

The Meaning of Life ...

Rules to Live By

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		$computer woes {CW:_(}$

[quote][i]Originally posted by Fitzhugh Williams[/i]
[br]Someone posted this on another board.  It's worthy of reading.
----------------------------------------------------------------
Rules to live by

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone.

2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.

3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

4. Sex is like air -- it's not important unless you aren't getting any.

5. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

6. No one is listening until you fart.

7. Always remember you are unique -- just like everyone else.

8. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

9. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

10. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away, and you have their shoes.

11. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

12. Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

13. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

14. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

15. Some days you are the bug; some days you are the windshield.

16. Don't worry--It only seems kinky the first time.

17. Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

18. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

19. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

20. Duct tape is like the Force--It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.

21. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

22. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.

23. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

24. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

[/quote]

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T O P I C R E V I E W
Fitzhugh Williams	Posted - June 20 2007 : 08:53:30 AM Someone posted this on another board. It's worthy of reading. ---------------------------------------------------------------- Rules to live by 1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone. 2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire. 3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it. 4. Sex is like air -- it's not important unless you aren't getting any. 5. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted. 6. No one is listening until you fart. 7. Always remember you are unique -- just like everyone else. 8. Never test the depth of the water with both feet. 9. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments. 10. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away, and you have their shoes. 11. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. 12. Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. 13. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it. 14. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything. 15. Some days you are the bug; some days you are the windshield. 16. Don't worry--It only seems kinky the first time. 17. Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment. 18. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket. 19. A closed mouth gathers no foot. 20. Duct tape is like the Force--It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together. 21. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works. 22. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving. 23. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it. 24. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
8 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First)
Obediah	Posted - June 20 2007 : 3:07:32 PM Yup, #6 pretty much describes marriage & family life! #'s 18 & 24 were originally said by Will Rogers...they've been in "Thought for the Day" recently. I originally saw #15 on a motorcycle website! And... quote: Originally posted by Little Lady of Fire This one is just priceless. 21. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works. It is a fact. Arguing with women doesn't work. Sorry guys. ...out of the mouths of babes! (But very true, nonetheless!)
Fitzhugh Williams	Posted - June 20 2007 : 2:40:32 PM quote: Originally posted by Batawana are you coming to 08 gathering The Batliners Of course! Wouldn't miss it.
Little Lady of Fire	Posted - June 20 2007 : 1:04:29 PM This one is just priceless. 21. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works. It is a fact. Arguing with women doesn't work. Sorry guys.
RedFraggle	Posted - June 20 2007 : 12:47:26 PM I love #20: "Duct tape is like the Force--It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together." Wish I had had some a fews days ago. I was driving home from running some errands and my driver's side door popped open. The doo-hickey that holds the door closed---which I now know is called a "striker" ---broke and my door wouldn't stay shut! Duct tape might have come in really handy. (Since I didn't have any, I used my jumper cables to tie both doors together. Looked and felt silly , but I made it home!)
Batawana	Posted - June 20 2007 : 12:39:06 PM Wow I love those...great words to laugh by Hey ...Fitzi(Higgins) Brian wants to know if you have seen Magnum lately????? and are you coming to 08 gathering! The Batliners
Light of the Moon	Posted - June 20 2007 : 12:22:21 PM So I guess you're saying I shouldn't parachute until I'm ready to die?
Irishgirl	Posted - June 20 2007 : 10:10:18 AM Well I have to say it's #1 for me. That just about sums me up.
blackfootblood	Posted - June 20 2007 : 10:03:20 AM Excellent post!!! I have to say #2 fits me best. It's that Murphy's law following me around. Whatever can go wrong usually does! (my maiden name was Murphy, go figure!!!)

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