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| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| Bill R |
Posted - March 25 2006 : 12:47:26 PM
Figgered I'd start a new thread so Lainey's wasn't hijacked with catching folks up on the gnomes' doings.
Betty is well, and still the best thing that ever happened to me.
We still live in Wisconsin. You know, that place where spring is the weekend between winter and summer.
She's still doing her nursing thing, and I'm still doing the craftsman thing. My youngest son got married, Betty's daughter had a son, and Betty's son had a daughter.
Had to go in for a couple stents last week. Feeling better than I have for a couple years. Seems God worked on the inside of my heart and once he got that part getting right, then took care of the outside and fixed that too.
For the last year, we've been going regularly to a church we really have come to love. It's been good for me. Taught me my place and purpose in the world, and has given me peace of heart and mind. And shown me a lot about myself that needed changing. Yes, it's one of those maligned fundie churches, and I won't prosyletize, but it's been the plank missing in the platform upon which I've stood. I've gone from a doubter for 40 years, to a believer.
Main thing is, to all I've ever said an unkind word, to all I've ever judged or ranted at, forgive me. I am sorry. From the heart. It is NOT my job to judge others, cram them into MY beliefs and reality, or otherwise impose MY paradigms on them. MY job is to work on MY heart (and faith) and that's all. Everybody has to come to their own realities and their own beliefs in their own times.
I am to love you guys, not pridefully pick fights or otherwise think myself better in some way or on some issue. And I did, and do (love you guys). When myself wasn't getting in the way of doing that.
Ah, Steph, Doc, Caitlin, Rich, Lainey, Gadget Girl and all the rest of you....we had some GOOD times and shared some love, haven't we?
It's GOOD to remember those times, and keep THAT important, says I.
All the rest of my foolishness and pridefullness was just that. I couldn't have a better and more changed heart than if UW hospital had done a transplant. God is good, and life is good, and you folks are good memories and loved friends. Forgive me for anything I ever did that tainted those memories and friendships.
How was I so stupid as to think that politics, imagined slights, etc etc etc were ever more important or even comparable to the relationships we have with other souls on this planet? All the rest of that stuff is so much background noise and of no lasting moment or worth. YOU GUYS and our dealings with each other is the ONLY lasting thing of worth in this world, or any other.
So GOOD to see so many of you old friends still around.
Bless you all,
The Gnomie
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| 25 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| Chris |
Posted - April 07 2006 : 11:50:36 PM
Dang, guys! It's almost like the old days. I'm misty eyed, and I nearly spewed my coffee over this thread. Thanks, I needed that!
Chris |
| Bill R |
Posted - April 01 2006 : 3:59:10 PM
Right. And she also sells bridges. Done so with the Brooklyn bridge many a time. Also runs a pyramid scheme scam. Tells you if you'll just send her a brawny Huron between ages of 20 and 40, and put your name on the bottom of the list in two months you'll see 100 Hurons of like manner show up at your door wearing nothing but the finest brain tanned G string. Those who fall for it have only seen a wizened old sachem wrapped in threadbare blanket show up selling the latest model of Hoover broom with free attachments (yourself, that would be).
Caveat Emptor. |
| Doc M |
Posted - April 01 2006 : 3:46:04 PM
HRMMPPPHHH! Certain pointy-hatted old poots need NOT refer to other
residents of Mohicanland as smelly old crocks, as certain other
residents are at least not so ancient as to be lettin' go in their
loincloths, if you get my drift. Clear it up any????!!
Howdy, WW! Sorry I didn't respond earlier, as I was out digging holes
around my hot tub and setting pointy sticks in the bottom of them
for the Gn...I mean, to plant my tomatoes! Yeah, that's it!
Tomatoes! Anyway, your concern about the Mellowed Gnome ingredient is
noted, but never fear. When dealing with aged ingredients like the
aforementioned, I soak them in a brine of rock salt and red pepper, and that tends to spice them up a little.
Ladies of Mohicanland, be sure to send your orders in for the New
Spring Batch of Bumppo's Best Gnome Butter! For even faster delivery,
a fine, strapping, muscular Huron wearing nothing but a Girl Scout
beret and the teensiest loincloth a lady could fondly wish for will
arrive at your door to take your order personally. BBGB is good for
female pains, chilblains, window panes, laundry stains, melancholy Danes, spider veins, freckle bleaching, wound leeching, high school teaching, enlarging your bust, removing rust, furniture dust, cleansing pores, waxing floors, sticking doors, diaper rashes, computer crashes, chin hair, dishware, repelling bears, recovering chairs, climbing stairs, and any and all cares!! Buy some today!
Easy credit plans available!!
Kissys!!
Doc M
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| Bill R |
Posted - April 01 2006 : 3:38:39 PM
Sheesh. Good gnomie. Bad gnomie. Butter of gnomie. You folks need to make up your minds about what you want here.....or I'm gonna develop a personality disorder and start talking to myself and answering in a different voice. Oh, wait, I already do that. I hide my own easter eggs too..........it's fun trying to find them again. |
| Wilderness Woman |
Posted - March 31 2006 : 11:31:42 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Bill R
Ahh, WW, how can you doubt? The gnomie has undergone renewal. Tis a peaceful, loving, untroubled wee one I am these days. Shh. Come a little closer, and I'll tell you all about it. That's it. Little closer.
How can I doubt, you ask??? Tsk, tsk, tsk. I should think that placing a head-bashing-mini-yellow-person in the same paragraph with the words "peaceful, loving, untroubled" would be quite enough to prove my point.
Quick, Christina! Grab his mallet!!!
Oh, and thanks for the offer of Aunt Aggie's Products For Chafed Scots, but only the best Gnome Butter will do for me. I can only hope that Doc M is successful in adapting her ancient receipt. Her recent silence can only mean that she is busily preparing her vat... |
| Christina |
Posted - March 31 2006 : 7:51:08 PM
Well, we wouldn't know from gnome butter around here these days, but I do hear tell that while digging a new cistern on her property, Aunt Aggie discovered a whole batch of Smooth Laddie Wax and Kilt-N-Clout Creme she'd put up and forgot about it. The world can never truly be right if there are un-smooth laddies running around and men being chafed by their kilt and clout. Give me a call. I might be able to get you some cheap.
Red |
| Bill R |
Posted - March 31 2006 : 4:00:06 PM
Ahh, WW, how can you doubt? The gnomie has undergone renewal. Tis a peaceful, loving, untroubled wee one I am these days. Shh. Come a little closer, and I'll tell you all about it. That's it. Little closer.
GNOME BUTTER? GNOME BUTTER? I'LL GIVE YA GNOME BUTTER! HERE, HAVE SOME MORE!
The only crock that Doc M has is filled with the same old smelly stuff she was always passin out, but decorum dictates I not say the word for it. Twas hard to tell the diff between her, and her crock, both were so full of it though.
Sheesh. Thanks a bunch. NOW I have to do some penance. And I was keeping this meek and humble thing so well together until YOU came along! Scuse me while I do so (folding hands but keeping large mallet close by).
Lord, give me the strength to take no offense, to remember that I also am flawed and have said unkind things, that we all are brothers and sisters in your eyes, and please above all else give me a good strong right arm for future mallet work. And if it be your will, please see to it that one crusty old Doc M mis-steps and puts her foot in that smelly crock she keeps by her door.
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| Wilderness Woman |
Posted - March 31 2006 : 1:38:06 PM
Well, I am really looking forward to Doc M's replenished supply of Bumpo's Best Gnome Butter. I sincerely hope that you will keep me in mind should you have a small crock left after filling your own needs, Doc. We Ladies-of-a-Certain-Age need all the help we can get, after all!
But you know, Doc, I am concerned about the quality of this new batch. I mean, this gnome has apparently changed and mellowed some (if we can believe what he says), and I wonder if the end product will be less potent? You may have to adjust your receipt to compensate. |
| Bill R |
Posted - March 31 2006 : 11:20:23 AM
Thanks Wilderness Woman. Yes, the old Bill has died to himself. I can't imagine anybody would want that particular Bill back in all his "glory". I know I don't. I'd much rather be in The Club!
Not to say I don't still enjoy Doc M's brand of humor, or get a kick out of that kinda interplay and such. Or am not concerned about things such as politics, etc. Just that I, and all that stuff, is in context of something bigger and more lasting.
Or, another way to say it......humans have been screwing things up since creation. MY screwups aren't more noble or less screwed up than anybody else's. Relying on myself and my ego and human nature alone hasn't worked very well. I'd have to preach at ya to tell you what HAS worked, though. I think you all got the idea so I don't need to belabor the point anyway. Suffice to say, I'm not the same Bill. Less teeth and a bigger, more peaceful heart, while recognizing that ALL of us are works in progress. Eh?
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| Wilderness Woman |
Posted - March 30 2006 : 9:57:57 PM
Well. Now see what happens when a person leaves town and goes West for a week? The Gnomes move back in and take over the neighborhood!
But... wait a minute. Something's not right here! Peace? Happiness? Love? Gentleness? This can't be the same Gnome-Dome we used to know! Just who are you and what have you done with Bill R.????
(Glad to hear you've joined The Club, Bill.)  |
| Bill R |
Posted - March 29 2006 : 11:54:52 AM
Ahhhhhhhhh....thanks Christina. And you are completely right where
the happiness and peace comes from. Tis true. Rather amazing how that works. You understand. I can tell. I have a blue cousin (smurfie).....may I also include a Red sister as family?
You've got a good heart Red. You always did. It was mine that needed fixin'. |
| Christina |
Posted - March 29 2006 : 11:46:09 AM
Your post was so beautiful, Bill. I'm so glad to know that you and Betty are happy and that you have found such happiness through God. I think just the beautiful simplicity of your words and your post and the obvious happiness that flows through them shows what happens when the love of God truly comes to someone's heart. I am so glad to see this happening for you! And so glad to know you guys are doing well! |
| Bill R |
Posted - March 28 2006 : 5:00:42 PM
Hey GG!
Big hug to ya!
MY loincloths come with little tabs on the sides these days, in a box labelled Depends..............
An yer right. WE all know what Doc M really meant. Her reputation precedes her.  |
| Gadget Girl |
Posted - March 28 2006 : 4:01:05 PM
DID SOMEONE SAY LOINCLOTH??????? No, well...I just know it was coming!
Oh Gnomie, I think that was certainly a typo. Instead of Nuclear Physics and sech, I just have to think those discussions were more in the way of *Muscular Physiques* and *sex*! We all know the Doc has ever been the sucker for a scantily clad young warrior type! Scantily clad in what? Why LOINCLOTHS of course (Breechclout, diaper, Tarzan Panties, WHATEVER!!! They ALL work for me!)
All this talk of Gnome butter and peeing in hot tubs and the like has me a bit nostalgically tearful! Sniff, Sniff!
Warms m'heart to hear you're doing well, Bill!
Spring is the season of possibilities!
GG 
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| Bill R |
Posted - March 28 2006 : 1:03:41 PM
Hmmmmmm. I don't think the relativity you were comparing amongst those nekkid savages had much to do with nuclear physics, but I could be unfairly judging you, I suppose....................Musta been an intense discussion. They all seemed to go in hale and dry, and come out whooped and wet. But what do I know? |
| Doc M |
Posted - March 28 2006 : 12:41:45 PM
Goodness me, Mr. Billy -- I come from a long line of gracious
white-gloved Southern wimminfolk who wouldn't hold with
consorting with Old Nick! Well, other than that one that was
hanged as a witch. And of course there was my Granny Winfrey, who
was meaner than snake spit and could have without doubt frozen hell
itself with a withering glance from her baby blues. The long line
of near-nekkid muscular savages you'll often find at my door are
merely drawn there by my essential charm and tactfulness. Many's
the chat we've all had together about nuclear physics and sech over
a nice cup of Earl Grey and gnome-buttered scones. *fan! fan! fan!* So there!!
Doc M |
| Bill R |
Posted - March 28 2006 : 11:16:18 AM
Those were some fun times. Old Doc Mary always seemed to get the better of me though. She always seemed to have the sharper wit, funnier repostes, earthier humor. Must come from her close cavortin' with the dibbil, I think.......How he got through her door past that Loooonnnnggggg line of near naked muscular savages lined up at her door is a mystery to me. Pulled rank maybe? I here tell he pulled more than THAT. The story goes that even THAT personage was rode hard, and put away wet by the old Doc and was no contest for her. Came away lamed, I hear. Course, the disingenious Doc M tries to say his lameness came from slipping on some overlooked gnome butter spilled on the floor, but witnesses say he looked a lot more tuckered out than from a simple fall when he left............and said personage had a decided droop to his horns into the bargain. |
| caitlin |
Posted - March 27 2006 : 10:28:16 PM
Bill & Doc M -
Gosh you two.... 
I've always loved your banters...
One can never get enough of the gnome butter gathering tales... it's refreshing to see them again!
hugs and best wishes! 
caitlin |
| Bill R |
Posted - March 27 2006 : 7:29:22 PM
PUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR |
| Doc M |
Posted - March 27 2006 : 6:15:28 PM
Wasn't that an old pickup line back in the 70's? "Is that a
sausage grinder, or are you just happy to see me???"
Never mind, never mind.
Here's a big head noogie for ya, Gnomie! *rub rub rub!*
Doc M |
| Bill R |
Posted - March 27 2006 : 2:08:16 PM
 Hey Carter! How ya been?
 For Lainey. Adulations as required of the Queen.
For Kaylynn and Jayne. GOOD to see ya guys.
 For the smurfie.
And for Doc.......
I know it's been said that no greater love hath a man but that he lay down his life for a friend........but my KJV doesn't seem to mention extending that to being ground up into butter in a vain attempt by some evil siren in maintaining her captivatingness. You're just gonna have to get old and toothless like the rest of us. In fact, toothless is the way I'd like to think of that hound of hell you have for a logo there. Got butter? NOT from this wee critter, you don't. Nor would I inflict your evil need on my loved smurfie cousin....and besides blue butter? Sure, and I'd love to see you turn blue, but not THAT way!
Ah Doc. You were always able to make me laugh no matter what. Gotta love that twisted and evil humor of yours. And do.
I'd give ya a huge hug, but don't like what that is behind your back there. What is that? Looks like a sausage grinder?
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| Doc M |
Posted - March 27 2006 : 12:54:32 PM
Aww, Billy! I have missed you so! Nobody's referred to me as an evil
capitivating siren in so long I thought I'd have to give it up and
take to wearing chenille bathrobes, watching Dr. Phil, and chain smoking Marlboros. You came along just in time!
I'm so happy that you've found what you've been looking for all
these years, and that you and Betty are so happy together. Does
my old wizened heart good. Been through a lot myself (PS to
TGATL -- a long overdue letter is on its way to you) but if
I haven't achieved total peace in my life yet, I'm at least going
down the right path, kinda sorta.
Well, enough of this group-huggie sloppiness, and back to business.
My supply of Bumppo's Best Gnome Butter has become woefully low
these past couple of years, and if I'm to maintain my youthful glow
I'm going to need a new batch. Is the Gnome population willing to
work with me on this, or am I going to have to take my proposal to
the Smurfs???
Kissy, Kissy!!
Doc M
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| Carter |
Posted - March 27 2006 : 11:59:36 AM
Hey Bill! Welcome back! You (and your wit) have certainly been missed! Glad you are ok!
Carter |
| Stephanie |
Posted - March 26 2006 : 11:46:26 AM
Bill,
Actually I thought it was a clever combination of "Smurf" and "Steph", pretty cool if you ask me! |
| Kaylynn44 |
Posted - March 26 2006 : 11:19:24 AM
Bill,
This was truly an inspiring post. If we all could feel this way, then it would be a much better world!!! I am very happy to see that you are doing well. Take care of yourself and I hope that we see you around here alot more!!!
Love,
Kay |
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