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 OFF THE BEATEN TRAIL
 Movies, Movies, More Movies! Any Movies!
 Worst movie soundtrack.

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T O P I C    R E V I E W
Christina Posted - March 30 2005 : 3:10:12 PM
Responding to a request from a poster on the "Worst Movie Ever" forum, which film do you think has the worst example of soundtrack flotsam or theme song ever created? Which film spawned a song or a melody which makes you want to run in front of traffic? I'm naming only a few here, some that have been suggested and a few that annoy me, so please feel free to add your own and then tell us why these soundtracks or movie songs are so bad.
19   L A T E S T    R E P L I E S    (Newest First)
Irishgirl Posted - February 20 2007 : 1:14:19 PM
The theme music from those Godawful spaghetti westerns with Clint Eastwood. The movies and music were so pathetic.
Obediah Posted - October 31 2006 : 3:22:53 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Christina

If Gnome Butter is running low, I can offer, Doc M, my remaining jars of Aunt Aggie's Kilt N' Clout Creme (fer smoothin' where yer chafin', laddie!) and my very own Smooth Laddie Wax. Not quite as lush as Gnome Butter, but it might come in handy!
Christina



...especially for those hairy monitors...
Batawana Posted - October 13 2006 : 10:13:14 PM
Ok the birthday girl (2 days ago)isspeaking up here. Am I not musically inclined, or do I have bad judgment... because I love Celine and Whitney and so on...I am a sucker for any romance...so maybe that is why.....you all are hard hearted little dickens. You all can't tell me you didn't sing along when all these songs were playing on the radio.......the great love songs of the 90's. Maybe it is my age that is getting the best of me...the mellow 50's. Oh well just remember those singers are making an awfully lot of money from record sales...so someone must be enjoying what they do. Have a fun weekend and sing along with Celine and Whitney.

Dances with Beagles Posted - October 13 2006 : 7:54:09 PM
I have one that literally makes me sick, but there's a story.

Back in 198_---I forget which year, I was on a weekend trip to Cape Cod. I started feeling ill on a whale watch, but I never get seasick! Back on land, I got sicker and sicker...turned out to be food poisoning. We had to drive back home to NJ---and the entire trip home, I would have to stop to get sick every few miles, and the entire time, the soundtrack to "Footloose" played constantly on the radio.

So, to this day, when I hear that song, "Let's Hear it for the Boy"....I literally start to heave!
Obediah Posted - October 08 2006 : 6:42:22 PM
Anything by Michael Jackson is CRAP! ("Tell us hou you really feel!")

But a close 2nd place would go to Whitney Houston for totally ruining "I Will Always Love You." She can't hold a candle to Dolly.
Stephanie Posted - April 01 2005 : 9:44:56 PM
Trolls, huh!! Well! As a bonafide Smurf and consequently cousin to the Gnome Dome (who is not even here to defend himself) I must say I take great offense at the idea of Troll biscuits! Come'on Gnome, let's go hide behind a mushroom before they COOK us!!
Stephanie

Wilderness Woman Posted - April 01 2005 : 4:33:49 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Doc M
Plus the danged things are 99% hot air, so you don't get enough grease from 'em to butter a biscuit.

Ah, well. I see that you haven't yet discovered their true purpose. Here's a little cooking tip from my new book, "Wilderness Woman's Wonderfully Wicked and Wild Way of Cooking"; subtitled "In The Kitchen With Poopsie." With all of that hot air, Board Trolls make excellent leavening! Try putting them into your biscuits, instead of on them! I guarantee you, Doc, you will never go back to baking powder!
Kaylynn44 Posted - April 01 2005 : 3:26:45 PM
Okay, after giving this much thought and going to look for the lyrics, I nominate the song "Ben" by Michael Jackson. The movie "Ben" was about a rat and this is the theme song???


Ben, the two of us need look no more
We both found what we were looking for
With a friend to call my own
I’ll never be alone
And you my friend will see
You’ve got a friend in me
(you’ve got a friend in me)

Ben, you’re always running here and there
(here and there)
You feel you’re not wanted anywhere
(anywhere)
If you ever look behind
And don’t like what you find
There’s something you should know
You’ve got a place to go
(you’ve got a place to go)

I used to say, I and me
Now it’s us, now it’s we
(I used to say, I and me)
(now it’s us, now it’s we)

Ben, most people would turn you away
I don’t listen to a word they say
They don’t see you as I do
I wish they would try to
I’m sure they’d think again
If they had a friend like Ben
(a friend)
Like Ben
(like Ben)
Like Ben


Yep, this one beats them all in my opinion!!!

Love,
Kay
Christina Posted - April 01 2005 : 3:05:42 PM
If Gnome Butter is running low, I can offer, Doc M, my remaining jars of Aunt Aggie's Kilt N' Clout Creme (fer smoothin' where yer chafin', laddie!) and my very own Smooth Laddie Wax. Not quite as lush as Gnome Butter, but it might come in handy!
Christina
Doc M Posted - April 01 2005 : 1:04:36 PM
"Careful" and Doc M??? Does not compute. Error! Error!
It's true my supply of the Sacred Gnome Butter is running a
tad low. I've tried substituting the occasional Board Troll, which
are ridiculously easy to catch -- ain't got enough brains in 'em
to power a Christmas tree bulb, mostly. Plus the danged things are
99% hot air, so you don't get enough grease from 'em to butter
a biscuit. I'll have to try substituting some of Bumppo's Best
Corn Squeezin's -- though it tends to melt screens rather than
clean them.

Doc M
Wilderness Woman Posted - April 01 2005 : 10:44:37 AM
Ah yes. The good Doc has caused me to sputter coffee all over my computer screen many a time. Personally, I think it is a carefully calculated plan on her part, to advance the sales of her own brand of screen cleaner... the famous All-purpose Gnome Butter. Although, I do understand that in the absence of Bill R., the Gnome-Dome, her supply is running rather low. You'd think she would want to be more careful, wouldn't you?
Stephanie Posted - April 01 2005 : 10:22:36 AM
Well this is good reason to straighten up my act, starting NOW!

Steph
blueotter Posted - March 31 2005 : 9:00:07 PM
Doc & Christina:
I just have to say that you crack me up royally -- it has happened often on this Board, and I want to tell you how much I enjoy your humor. I can JUST hear a cat glued to a hot plate! There are other humorists on the Board, as well, just can't think of any names right now.

Thanks!!!
Rose
Christina Posted - March 31 2005 : 8:03:44 PM
and for male accompaniment, MICHAEL BOLTON!!!!

Tonight in Hades, seats are goin' fast!!!
Doc M Posted - March 31 2005 : 1:28:52 PM
Now playing Onstage In Hell:

A trio featuring Whitney, Celine, and Mariah Carey!!
AGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! I would rather listen to a
siamese cat glued to a hot plate!

Doc M
Christina Posted - March 31 2005 : 12:17:30 PM
As much as I loathe and despise the Celine Dion vocal nightmare mentioned above, I had to vote for Whitney Houston's interpretation of "I Will Always Love You." It wins my vote for many reasons: 1) the movie sucked big rocks and this song reminds me of it. 2) Anybody who wasn't under a rock in the early '90s heard this song at least 37,363 times on the radio within the first six months of its release. 3) Whitney Houston turns an otherwise very beautiful, sweet tune by Dolly Parton into an overblown diva-scholock-fest. 4) I am reminded of this song daily because our newsroom clerk has her desk radio tuned to the local soft-rock-hits station which feels the need to play this song daily just after lunchtime.
susquesus Posted - March 30 2005 : 7:33:28 PM
Okay, in order to go through with this I have to reveal another guilty pleasure. I love the 1985 film, "Ladyhawke", starring Rutger Hauer, Matthew Broderick, and Michelle Pfeiffer. I'm a sucker for the whole medievel, sword/sorcery, knights in armor thing. There is also a great love story, Matthew Broderick is funny, and Michelle Pfeiffer is absolutely smokin'. I was very excited when, after not having seen this film in a good 10 years, I found it in the $9.99 rack at my local Best Buy. I brought it home, grabbed the snack food and a beer, dimmed the lights, settled into the couch and hit play. Fade in to horizon at dusk, light strings in the background, keyboard comes in slowly(is that a piano?) sound builds, Crescendo and WOOF! Some of the worst synth music that came out of the middle eighties belches forth from my stereo. Mood ruined, teeth clenched I forged ahead- at every moment thenceforth that it could have gotten better, it didn't. The ridiculous synth music reared its head at every inopportune moment to blow the moment. Though there is still love in my heart for this already questionable movie, the music tests my soul every time I watch it. Thank you Christina for this opportunity to Purge.
misschanelno5 Posted - March 30 2005 : 5:29:00 PM
I had to vote for Celine, too -- I have a special hatred for this song (in college, one of my suitemates and her boyfriend used the Titanic soundtrack for their special "intimate" background noise, if you know what I mean).

I would like to nominate for Honorable Mention the terrible Tom Cruise/Nicole Kidman flick Eyes Wide Shut. Does anyone remember the one-plunking-piano-key theme that plays through a good portion of the movie?

Urgh.
Stephanie Posted - March 30 2005 : 3:21:30 PM
Ha ha Red you mentioned two that top my list for the worst: the Titanic theme and the entire Dirty Dancing soundtrack. Tough decision, Red! I had to go with Celene though.... yeecccchhhhh!
Steph

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