Re: Gnomes! Gnomes! Gnomes! Special Clearance Sale!!!

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: 
: Oh ha ha.  Very funny.  Come here you wretched woman....I got a full chamber pot I'd love to introduce you to.

: So much for missing me.  Ha.  Just wanted to re-stock your darn shelves.  Well catch me if you can you bow-legged (and we know what THAT came from don't we?), knock-kneed twiddle twaddle!

: Poot!  Yeah you, you poot!

: Gnome Dome

: : The Mohican Clinic For The Terminally Weird is offering a
: : special clearance sale of fall and winter Gnome-al items.

: : JERKY GNOME!! oops! I mean GNOME JERKY!! Made from
: : the most select cuts, seasoned and smoked in Doc M's
: : special smokehouse -- which also doubles as the Clinic
: : Sweat Lodge, so there's that unmistakable *Hint O' Huron*
: : in each piece! Great for snacking on the trail!

: : DOC M'S GNOME BUTTER UNDEREYE MOISTURIZER!!

: : Ladies, we all know how bending over a hot cauldron 
: : all day long wreaks havoc on our delicate complexions.
: : A nightly ritual of applying Doc M's GBUEM will smooth
: : away all those unsightly crow's feet and undereye sags
: : and bags! Also good for greasing pancake griddles and
: : making red-eye gravy!

: : A UNIQUE SELECTION OF TINY CONICAL RED HATS!!

: : Great for newborns, changelings, and unfortunate pin-
: : headed individuals. (I don't know of any of the latter
: : residing in Mohicanland now, but they do drop in to
: : visit from time to time.)

: : DRIED AND STUFFED GARDEN GNOMES!!

: : Arranged in all sorts of comical poses! Fun fun fun
: : for all at Spring Planting Time!

: : PRICES NEGOTIABLE!! NO REASONABLE OFFER REFUSED!! SILVER,
: : WAMPUM, BRANDY, AND SWEATY LOINCLOTHS ACCEPTED!!

: : For those who have been asking, our supply of fresh-
: : caught Gnome Products will be back in stock shortly,
: : as soon as Doc M's Hurons can get back on the trail
: : to Oisconsin. They were waylaid in the quaint village
: : of Las Vegas, and seem to have been stripped of their
: : rifles, tomahawks, beads, leggings, and loincloths by
: : a war party of marauding savages -- at least I THINK
: : that's what they said.. they just kept saying "Bad 21!
: : Bad 21!" Those little scamps! Sometimes I think they
: : keep things from old Doctor Mary.

: : Kiss! Kiss!

: : Doc M


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