Re: The diet of early New England Indian Tribes

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: : : : A-HEM!!  Lissen up, Little Man!  Hearing you whine & moan about "your woman" and holler for "your dinner" ALMOST makes ME, the evah-so-genteel & ree-fined Miss Marcia, feel like looking for Gnome recipes, too!  A word to the wise, Gnomelet:  Cook your WOMAN a meal now and then, and wash up after!  It might save you from ending up on the menu at Miss Marcia's Famous DownHome Kitchen.  It would be easy to change Tuesday from George RoadKill Possum Night to Gnomeling Flambe night, doncha know!  "I want my dinner, indeed!" Tsk.

: : : : Yours Most Graciously,
: : : : Miss Marcia

: : : That's telling him Sistah!  How about whippin' us up a batch of gnome-flavored fudge?

: : : Best wishes,
: : : Goody Sandy

: : My Dear Goody Sandy,

: : Thank you for your support and lovely menu suggestion. It is certainly worth considering.  Normally, I'm a kind sort of person, with a loving and tolerant heart for all of the earth's creatures, be they LARGE (like MOI) or small (like that Little Man in the Pointy Red Hat).  But once in awhile, I get my dander up, doncha know!  We'll have NO steenking Male Chauvinist GnomeDomes living around MY front porch! 

: : Now, I'm a forgivin' sort, and willin' to give any wee person the benefit of the doubt, so...I'm waitin' to see if that Little Man was just funnin' us a bit.  Surely he doesn't expect his hard-working Gnomette to come home & wait on him hand & itty, bitty foot, does he?  Cookin' all his meals, an' the like?  I'd hate most dreadfully to have to whap him over his pointy ol' head with my cast iron skillet, so's I could frizzle him up for an entree du jour!  

: : I'll just give him a day or so to think over his hasty remarks, and then...I'll decide whether to feed him up...or EAT HIM UP!!

: : Yours Most Graciously,
: : Miss Marcia
: : PS...I'll be sure to let you know if I'll be dishing up any Gnomeling Flambe or GnomeDome Fricassee around my Famous DownHome Kitchen.  I'll save you a big ol' plateful!

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: Cannibals!  Philistines!  Dietary Demonic Demented Dames!
: *places thumb against prominent facial feature 6" below brim of red hat and wiggles fingers*

: Who dares interfere in Gnomedom domestic issues?  Why, I will turn you all into toads and poison all your mushrooms.  I will wee all over your garden and wilt all your treasured shrubbery - two tiered or not!  May your yeast not rise and your cow give soured milk.

: Humph!  And I thought I had friends about.  Before you can fry me, you gotta catch me!  *scurries through 1 foot hole in tree trunk and down to domicile*.  Ha.  see if you can fit through THAT!  

: Betty?  Betty Gnomeling?  Betty Dear Gnomette?  Dinner ready?
: Don't bother setting any more places.  They are DISinvited to dinner!

: Gnomedome


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