Re: Doctor Mary's Unfortunately Short Film Career & Dummies of One Sort or Other

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: : : : Damn......damn!  I thought that Man was mighty Easy, if you get my drift!  And I wondered about that "stage hand" in the background who kept on whistlin' "If I Only Had a Brain!"  But come to think on it a bit...that there straw-stuffed Patented Hawkeye Crash Test Dummy IS lifesized and bears a striking resemblance to a certain loin-clothed hero.  Ummmmm...how perzackly would one go about ORDERING a PHCTD or two from you, Doctor M?  Mayhap we can make a deal!

: : : : MMMM

: : : Doc M will be more than happy to work out a deal with you,
: : : MMMM. Please consider that each of the DMPHCTDs are hand-
: : : crafted, with loving attention to every teensie detail.
: : : For a small additional fee, extra stuffing can be placed
: : : in the loinclothal area if you should desire it. Right
: : : now there's a three-week backlog -- Doctor Mary outsources
: : : all this stuff, and she only has two full-time gnomes
: : : working on spinning the straw. BettyGnome is a most
: : : amenable worker, but her companion-gnome can be a little
: : : testy. Plus there's an old fat guy who lives way north
: : : of here, and he keeps trying to cut in on my action and
: : : hire them away from me this time of year. I'll send the
: : : courier over with the new catalog of Doctor M's Special
: : : Millenial Product Line, and you can make your selection.

: : : Kiss! Kiss!

: : : Doc M

: : Spin straw?  Spin straw you say?  *chuckling*.  What kinda cloth would be made from straw I wonder....assuming you could spin it??
: : I wanna see the wheel that spins that straw there Doc!!  Methinks you have been to Bumppo's again, haven't you?  Admit it!

: : Now flax, that's another matter!!  Nothing like a nice linen nightshirt tightly woven and cool to the skin.

: : And what is this testy stuff???????  ME testy?  Nah.  Never.  Do you call me testy merely because I am organizing for the AFGL (American Federation of Gnome Labor)?  You call me testy just cause I let a little air out of the tires of your car parked in that supervisory reserved space?  I'm testy just because you find it hard to cross a line of 25cm rowdy, chanting gnomes while being pelted with mouse droppings and rotten mushrooms?

: : Billygnome

: I believe it was your great-great-grandfather Rumpelstiltskin
: that perfected that straw-spinning thang, Mr. Bill. And since
: when have you joined the AFGL? Did they throw you out of
: the CF of TWW? (The Colonial Federation of Teenie-Weenie Workers?)
: I have given my usual careful attention to your demands...
: *crumple! crumple! CLANG! Yay! Two points!* ...and have
: concluded you must have been smoking your mushrooms instead
: of throwing them. Didn't I give you two whole hours off
: on Christmas Day? Didn't I give you that microscopic pellet
: of coal to burn in the workroom during that blizzard? Didn't
: I allow your Gnomette to wear little woolly gloves so her
: wee fingers wouldn't freeze and hold up the assembly line?
: Take! Take! Take! Bah!! Humbug!!!

: Doc M


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