Posted by She Who Tracks La Longue Carabine on September 30, 1999 at 19:40:15:
In Reply to: Scientific Anomaly Discovered!!!!!!!! posted by Bill R on September 30, 1999 at 16:22:17:
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: Recently (VERY recently) the scientific world was startled and shaken to its very mathematical core at the revelation that one of the longest standing physical laws were shattered. As many know, a scientific law is only a law when empirical evidence can support the theory, and a single exception puts that law into suspect. Einstein rocked the scientific world with his exception to Newtonian physics by showing that time is relative.
: Recently, several scientists on their way to a convention (you could tell they were scientists by the calculator holsters on their belts and the pocket protectors in their shirts, plus the tape on their glasses was somewhat of a give-away) became disoriented and lost during a recent horrific hurricane. When the winds died and the sky cleared they found themselves in a trackless forest lost and bewildered so to speak. They began to head westward and eventually came upon a dirt road. They followed this dirt road and came upon a settlement - and as Einstein predicted time is indeed relative as they found themselves backward in time by 250 years. This settlement was straight out of 1750 with houses, shops, tradespeople and warriors abounding alongside frontiersmen and frontierswomen. As they walked down the main street of this settlement, they came upon the shop of a certain doctor. They were intrigued by the long, long line of male patients leading from the front door around the house, up the street and seeming to begin at the doorway of a tavern named Bumpo's.
: They were even more intrigued by the line leaving the back door of this particular office of medicine, as each of the patients seemed to be either crawling on hands and knees or walking rather unsteadily and bow-legged.
: Wondering what could possibly be going on, what medical treatment could be so popular and yet so debilitating, they approached and gazed into one of its windows. And THAT is when a long accepted physical law was forever cast into the empirical waste basket.
: It had long been believed that the libido decreases with age in a straight line curve. This was the basis for many pharmaceutical corporations' healthy bottom line, as well as a convenient excuse for many a male to continue reading his Field and Stream magazine and be left alone.
: No longer. The scientific world is rocked by the accidental discovery of the bewildered scientists at a place called "Mohicanland" or so it was reported.
: It seems that, previous empirical evidence not-with-standing, one Doctor Mary has set the above theory on it's head. Not only does the libido actually INCREASE with age in this particular case - but it increases EXPONENTIALLY. The actual equation turns out of be:
: L to the nth power times M = the quantity (H+W+AOM) squared.
: where L = Libido, M = Mary, H=Hawkeye, W=Warriors, and AOM =
: All Other Males, the sum of them squared being the number of patents able to be accomodated in a 24 hour period.
: Medical science is astounded by this revelation!!!!
: Bill R
That all goes to show ye what a waste of time all that larnin' is. If those science types had not misspent their youth at the knees of women larnin' the meanin' of little black marks, they would have known from the get-go that all this is just natur; yes it is. Dr. Mary never causes a raised eyebrow here in Mohicanland, sartain. A rousin' night at Dr. Mary's clinic doesn't even rate a notice in The Courier. Can't say the same for her ladies' nights at Fort William Henry. Might do the science types good to obsarve one o' those wingdings!
She Who Tracks La Longue Carabine and saw him go into Dr. Mary's clinic, but is still waitin' for him to come out.