Re: A Gnome's Net Worth and Gnome Free at last

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: : {Sigh...thank goodness I've got that Wildcat vs Gnome situation straightened out.  Time for me to get a little nappie.}

: : "Soft little chirples..."

: : *FLAP-FLAP, FLUTTER, FLAP*

: : {NOW WHAT??  Geez, lew-feathered-weeze!  Everytime I think things are gonna be peaceful for awhile, something new starts happenin'!  What's all that ruckus out by yon tree?  I see a couple o' gents headin' off towards Bumppo's Tavern, but there's a strange looking bundle swinging around in the dark over there.  Looks like something's dangling from a tree branch...and it's a NOISY somethin', at that!  This bears investigating! Think I'll just fly on over & have a looksee...}

: : "Well, well, GnomeDome...wot's all this, then?  Got yourself in a bit of a bind, eh? Pardon my mirth, but...hahahahahaha!  Squ'ark!"

: 
: Oh ha ha.  Whenever you're ready chuckles, do you think you could free me from this darn net?  I mean, take your time - no hurry ya know - just cause my head is turning deep red and all the blood is pooling there....

: 
: : *flap, flap, flap, flitter, flitter, flap*

: : "Hold still, ye Silly Old Gnomeling!  Now lissen up...if you promise not to bother me any more with your green chicken soup claptrap, I'll set you free. Yes, I know I'm just a bird, but I'm a bird with a REAL sharp, strong beak, and I know just how to handle a little problem like this.  No, I know I don't talk this way when I'm speaking to my Person...I wouldn't dare!  If she knew I could talk this well, she'd put me on display somewhere, so I play it smart & do my "Dumb Parrot" routine around others.  But you, being a Gnome, and a secretive sort yourself, can't very well go blabbing the truth to them, can you?Now, make up your mind.  Do we have a deal or not?  Shall I set you free?"

: 
: Yes darnit.  Deal!  Free Gnomie.  Free Gnomie *hmmm, maybe a movie title there....*.

: 
: : {Geez, lookit him trying to think this over!  Obviously deep thoughts are a bit of a strain on his tiny GnomeDome!}

: : "Deal?  Okay.  Hold still, dadgum it, while I bite through these ropes."

: : *gnaw, crunch, chew, gnaw, bite, bite, bite*

: 
: Ouch!  HEY!  Watch it!  That's my rump there.

: 
: : "Stop your kicking and hollering, you blasted little bit o' garden statuary!  How am I supposed to chew my way through this hemp and rawhide with you swinging every which way?  Now, I'm almost done...whooops!  Did I get your finger a bit on that last bite?  SEW sorry, Gnomie!"

: : "Now, see if you can fit through this hole I've made...that's it, squeeze those legs and that little gnomie backside through there.  Now, just let go, and you'll drop right into those soft bushes below.  Oh!  Sorry!  Didn't realize those were blackberry bushes!  Well, you can pick out the thorns when you get back to your Gnomehome.  Now, off with you, and let me get a good night's sleep!  Remember...no more recipes featuring parrots, green chickens, or even herbs named Basil!"

: 
: *grumbling...a promise is a promise but green chicken soup is starting to sound mighty tasty OUCH!  picking these OUCH! dang thorns OUCH! outta my hide.  Oh well.  Better than hanging in that tree all night. * 

: 
: : *flap, flap, flap*

: : {*sigh*  Maybe now I can get some rest!  Sheesh!  What a night!}

: : *tucking head under wing*

: : "Twitter...twitter...chirpy, chirp...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz."

: Aaaaaaahhhhhhhh.  Home at last *hugs tree* finally safe at home and snug in my tree and there's my wee bed.  Gotta get up early and make those gingerbread crackers for that bird.  And I GOTTA have a talk with that near-sighted dufus duo when they sober up.

: *sighs*

: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ


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