Re: just for fun...

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Posted by She Who Tracks La Longue Carabine on August 18, 1999 at 19:32:59:

In Reply to: Re: just for fun... posted by Miss Marcia on August 18, 1999 at 19:13:17:

Miss Marcia writes:
: Dear SWT,

: After the mayhem caused when last I saw your dog, Hector, perhaps a NEW dog wouldn't be amiss, miss. Howsever, if I know my hunteresses, and I think I do, that's probably not a realistic option. I know you're plumb attached to that worthless, shiftless, toothless, and hairless ol' hound! So, the question is, how to freshen up your buckskins or, failing that, what to replace them with.

: Yours Most Graciously,
: Miss Marcia

Dear Miss Marcia,

With all due respect, I take exception to yer demeanin' description of poor ol' Hector. In the first place, he's not worthless. Last week Uncle Wiscone offered me five beaver skins to take him outten Bumppo's Tavern, since it appears somethin' about him was offendin' the tavern maids. I can't imagine what, but sartain ye can't call the hound worthless! Second, he's definitely not shiftless. Last night he shifted hisself over from one side to t'other in front of the fire without any help at all. As to his tooth, it seemed to be solid enough when it came to takin' an ear offen that wildcat of yourn, iff'n I'm not mistaken. Now, as to hairless, I can't contend with ye there, but I believe ye ought to show more respect for age and decrepitude. Miz Tweshoes has developed a mighty admiration for him since he had that short spree with her lady hound. Just last week she told me she was fixin' to serve him with a pitternity suit, and I think iffn Mizz Tweshoes is kind enough to offer to cover his hairlessness, ye can rethink yer attitude here.

Yer friend,

She Who Tracks

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: Miss Marcia writes:
: : Dear SWT,

: : After the mayhem caused when last I saw your dog, Hector, perhaps a NEW dog wouldn't be amiss, miss. Howsever, if I know my hunteresses, and I think I do, that's probably not a realistic option. I know you're plumb attached to that worthless, shiftless, toothless, and hairless ol' hound! So, the question is, how to freshen up your buckskins or, failing that, what to replace them with.

: : Yours Most Graciously,
: : Miss Marcia

: Dear Miss Marcia,

: With all due respect, I take exception to yer demeanin' description of poor ol' Hector. In the first place, he's not worthless. Last week Uncle Wiscone offered me five beaver skins to take him outten Bumppo's Tavern, since it appears somethin' about him was offendin' the tavern maids. I can't imagine what, but sartain ye can't call the hound worthless! Second, he's definitely not shiftless. Last night he shifted hisself over from one side to t'other in front of the fire without any help at all. As to his tooth, it seemed to be solid enough when it came to takin' an ear offen that wildcat of yourn, iff'n I'm not mistaken. Now, as to hairless, I can't contend with ye there, but I believe ye ought to show more respect for age and decrepitude. Miz Tweshoes has developed a mighty admiration for him since he had that short spree with her lady hound. Just last week she told me she was fixin' to serve him with a pitternity suit, and I think iffn Mizz Tweshoes is kind enough to offer to cover his hairlessness, ye can rethink yer attitude here.

: Yer friend,

: She Who Tracks

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