Posted by Bill Rooks on June 20, 1999 at 09:53:52:
Some of you may remember me, some of you may wish not to, and many of
you will not know me at all. I address this to those who were posting on the
board a year ago.
A little more than a year ago, I said some (or many) unwarranted and unkind
things about some of the major players on the board. I would like to
apologize for my words and actions. I was wrong to have said what I did
and behave as I did.
I am not going to excuse my words and actions, nor am I going to risk
resurfacing bad memories by trying to explain myself. Frankly, there is no
satisfactory explanation for rude, unkind, intolerant, belligerent or unfair
words and personal attacks by anybody about anybody on the board.
Especially not THIS board which for the most part (excepting jerks suffering
brain farts as I did) is a very warm, kind, tolerant place to visit. I sincerely
apologize to the board in general and to those I offended for my words and
actions.
You may attribute this remorse and apology to two events - one significant
and one not as significant. I very recently underwent quadruple (yeah four
of them. When I screw up, I screw up LARGE) bypass surgery. Now, I
went into that open heart surgery completely confident about the outcome
and with no real fear. Even so, there were nagging things in the back of my
mind just in case the outcome was not as I expected.....I ensured that the
night before those loved ones I could contact were told things I did not want
left unsaid. But........there were people I was unable to say things to I wanted
to...things left unsaid - such as this apology. It is amazing how such an
event can teach a person such as myself what is most important in life.
The other event which encourages me to voice this apology is the
resounding success of the latest Gathering. I do not mean to say I seek
absolution because I wish to attend the next one.....what I mean to say is that
it is clearly evident by how well everyone got along and how close they have
become that I WAS the problem....not some others I misjudged.
I often pride myself on walking alone at times......able to buck the traffic or
not go along with the crowd. I often prided myself on being the rebellious
voice crying out against injustice or unfairness......but you know what?
There is merit in that attitude UNTIL you take it beyond reason. When you
begin to see EVERYTHING (or nearly so) as some sort of
unfairness.....when you begin to take everything as an offense or a battle
which must be fought.....well you know what they say about pride.
I have learned a lesson. That lesson is to enjoy the diversity of people, see
their good sides and ignore their imperfections - which all of us have and
which really shouldn't prohibit us from enjoying the interesting people
around us.
I do not request or expect to be forgiven. That is left to the individual heart to determine. I do not post this trying to obtain
forgiveness from some...they may find that they cannot. I accept that. I post this because it needs to be said, and because you people
deserve it said.
I have kept a promise to
myself....that if things DID go as expected on 16 April of this year....I would
at the right time ensure those on this board would hear the things I had been
wishing I could have said.
I apologize. You are a good group. If I could be more like, say Eric H, I
would be a better man. I do think I am a better man for my recent "wake up
call". Time will tell.
Thank you.
Bill Rooks