Posted by Sassy Soothsayer on April 08, 1999 at 16:08:43:
Dear Dirty Girty, You Ol' Scalawag, You!
After drinking my morning cup of fine English tea, liberally laced with HerbaGreen procured from the Mohicaan Bountyess, I could not ignore the warning I saw spelled out by the leaves remaining in the bottom of my cup. You are in grave danger, Sir. No, not from the esteemed Sheriff Benton (Just Call Me Bent) Twigg, nor the as yet untried Marshall Art...it's that new gal, Miss Katie of Arboath! I'm afraid you have met your match with this Scottish lass, Girty! She's got quite a feisty way about her, and wit enough to keep the likes of you from pulling the wool (blanket) over her eyes!
No, Simon, I think you've gotten yourself off to a bad start with this one. Best you shove that quilt back through her open window, and run for the hills...unless you want to spend the rest of your natural life collecting used eagle feathers to please her. Not to mention trying to please She-Who-Tracks. Between the two of them, that's a whole lot of poultry...I mean, eagles...ain't it? You'll be plucking and/or scalping till your your knife gets dull and your fingers drop off!
So, in conclusion, based entirely upon what I read in these tea leaves, I have but one suggestion for you, sir...lissen up now, cuz I ain't gonna say this but once: RUN FAR, RUN FAST!!!
Yours Enchantingly,
The Sassy Soothsayer a/k/a Mme. Claire Voyant
Motto: Still sassily saying sooths, after all these years!