Posted by She Who Tracks La Longue Carabine on February 22, 1999 at 11:20:59:
Well, Miss Marcia, that was a fine welcome-home dinner ye give fer me this weekend. Dishin' out soup to nuts is one o' yer gifts, sartain!
I do want to apologize fer fallin' on yer prize geranium when I first come in. Them French high-heeled shoes is some trick to git balanced on. If Sheriff Twigg hadn't hauled me outten that big flower pot an' held onta me til I got my ankles unbent and both feet goin' in the same DI-rection agin', I'd never a made it past the front porch all night.
Howsever, it was interestin' tryin' out my new look and figgerin' out how all them Femin-nine Gifts works. Guess I still got some practizin' to do, but I'll git the hang of it, yes I will.
Can't say I'm real satisfied with them mail-order stick-on genuwine porcupine-quill eyelashes. Seems they're a mite heavy for ordinary wear. I shoulda knowed better than to lean over that steamin' soup tureen when it got passed down the table. I hope Miss Gaylee Cooper didn't hurt her back too bad when her chair fell over backwards. Lord, but that woman has a piercin' shriek!
As to that little incident of you accidentally standin' with yer foot on the hem of my dress while Mr. Girty and I was headin' out fer a moonlight stroll in the garden, don't give it another thought. I suppose 10 yards or so of ruffle won't make no differnce in the way that dress tacks in a high wind. That sure was impressive the way Mr. Girty whipped out his skinnin' knife an' lopped off that ruffle when I come to the end of my tether, so to speak. Howsever, I don't see where he needed to chop the whole rest of the skirt off, too. Once that man gets acuttin', he's hard to stop. But I guess I can fergive 'im. He did say he fancies my new hairdo. Says the scalpin' tuft is a nice touch, and he's gonna git me a real eagle feather to dress it up some.
I'll stop by to chat agin later. Right now I'm off to take some chicken soup to Miss Gaylee, since I heerd she's bed-rid fer the time bein'. I figger cheerin' the sick is one o' them Femin-nine Gifts I need to cultivate.
She, etc.