Posted by Rich/Mohican Press on February 10, 2002 at 08:24:21:
Gooding morning friends & neighbors, and in some cases, perhaps, it has been said, moles ...
Earlier this day, I posted a couple of humorous things - or at least I hope you found them humorous - one of which was labeled, "The E-Mail of the Week." Well, now it's time for some serious stuff, in the Grand RichFed-style that you've all come to know & love - except, of course, for those of you who hate it, who I am, and what I have done here over the past 5 years - and why YOU still come here, I'll never know! But come anyway. One & all. There ain't no secret URL here; no password required. Just come on in, have fun, if you will, or fuel your fires, if you won't.
See, in reality, I did receive a GENUINE E-Mail of the Week this week. But, in, my "grand benevolence" I have opted not to display it here. It touched on many issues, was extremely insulting, and because of the fact that many of you were mentioned by name, has led me to believe - paranoid, delusional that I am, with virtually no interpersonal skills - that said "many of you" have heard a similar tune sometime over the past year or so.
Thus, I feel the need to clarify some things about me, this Site, the Board, and how I do things - not always in the right fashion, obviously.
Let me begin first by answering the question: Why do you use the moniker "Rich/Mohican Press" on your weekly site updates? Simple. To differentiate between "Rich" one of the guys, and "Rich" the Webmaster. The two overlap, of course, and I could simply use "Rich" sometimes when I might use "Rich/Mohican Press," and vice-versa. Pretty much, then, I decided to use "Rich/Mohican Press" for the weekly updates only ... arbitrary "decision" that took 2 seconds to "decide" and nothing should be read into it. The Updates began as an accident and continued by request. Now, it's more or less habit.
It's not an ego thing ... Jeez Louise .. Neither was "Mentor Man" or "King RichFed" or "Sachem." These names were thrust upon me - by YOU - as names were thrust upon others - by ME, Lainey, and YOU - It was all in fun. Nobody, least of all me, took it seriously in the slightest. Need proof? Read our "The Courier" pages. My word, it was all just a load of F-U-N!
At work, I'm one of the biggest cut-ups around. It's been my lot in life to always emerge as a leader .. no matter what it is I am doing, within a group setting, leadership seems to follow me around. On the job, in Little League, in my side-activities. I don't go looking for it, it just appears. Always has ... I must be somewhat capable of dealing with people. In fact, for 7 years I worked [some don't believe I actually WORKED there, but was there on another count] on a Secure Unit of the NY State Psychiatric Department - with murderers, rapists, child molesters - all schizophrenics to boot. Got along just fine. Maybe that's my problem in MohicanLand! There just aren't enough of those characters around!
Don't get me wrong, perfect I am not! Do I have a temper? YES! Do I act impulsively? YES! And, sometimes say things I soon wish I hadn't? YES?
But, after 50 years, I do know myself somewhat. I know my strengths & my limitations. I try to live within the parameters of those strengths & weaknesses. Like you, I often fail.
One thing's for sure, I'm no "evil alien," [see E-Mail of the Week] dispite my good, wholesome looks [see "photo" above]
One of my many problems [sick bastard, that I am] is this: I think out loud - publicly. Like in "right here." I share with others things most others would just think about, not verbalize. It's a problem sometimes. Then again, it's often times been beneficial. And, I'll do it again ... right now.
Ok, I can hear at least one of you saying, "he's rambling again." Right you are. Hold on. It's gonna get worse! Lord, I was born a ramblin' man ...
Interviewer: Why did you start this web site?
Answer: To sell a book I had written, 4 years earlier, and had finally got printed in a saleable form.
I: Has that been successful?
A: Well, we've sold lots of books, but the book was so expensive to print, and the site is so expensive to maintain, that we find it difficult to tread water. So, in that sense, no, it's not been. BUT, it has been successful on many other levels.
I: Such as?
A: Well, like I say, we have sold a bunch of those books, and continue to even to this day, almost 10 years after the film ["The Last of the Mohicans," in case you weren't paying attention] was released. But more than that, the site grew to such proportions, and has so much info, that it's now used as a reference tool by students & teachers alike. Plus, we've got to meet folks we never would have otherwise. We've had dealings with the cast & crew right on down to the film's fans. It's been great.
I: Yes, but that doesn't pay the bills now does it?
A: No, it creates even more, let me you tell you. But it's all been worthwhile, because of the PEOPLE, at least most of them. It's fun.
I: If it's such fun, then why do you so often threaten to take the Board down? Are you on some kind of "sick" ego-trip?
A: It is my opinion that I've never actually THREATENED to take the Board down. I have thought a-loud on this subject, on the Board, many a time. It wasn't ever meant to threaten, that I can recall, anyway. I've been perplexed, at times, over its function, its direction ... I want it to be special. I have called for people to make it work, at times. Maybe that was interpreted as a threat? I dunno. I HAVE no interpersonal skills. But, I've decided to just let it be ... be whatever it evolves into.
I: But you DID take it down once?
A: Yes. Ironically, I did that almost impulsively, there was no threat to it. It was just gone.
I: Why?
A: Several reasons actually, but the biggest was because it was costing me my marriage. I don't want to go into it now.
I: What do you say to those who feel that they've had to go through some sort of song and dance or other to save [their] Board?
A: They haven't walked a mile in my shoes. Listen, there are folks out there who are truly supportive ... and they own no trumpets ... they're just there. Nobody has to dance or sing ... just be a positive participant in a forum. That's all.
I: Ok, it was costing you your marriage, you claim, yet, you put the Board back up just several days later. Was that so that you could smugly preen your self-righteous feathers under the admiring gaze of all your fans?
A: Wow! I have no "fans" here. This isn't about me. This is about friends. But, yes, I did. Again, for several reasons - and I don't really want to get into it, as I've said - but one of them was that the outpouring of emotion from so many folks got me back in touch with how important this place was to so many. I began to feel like I owed it to them.
It's been very difficult for me in that regard, over the years. I have been immersed in this thing for so long - I really think that there are only a handful out there who really understand what I mean - it gets to the point sometimes that I feel like I have to pull back. Whenever I try, someone cries "foul" - that I'm not considering THEIR feelings. That amazes me. After all the sweat & money & time (no blood, yet, as far as I can remember) that I've put into this - as had Elaine - all these Gatherings - most people just show up and have fun; for me it's year 'round - the interviews & special things we've enabled folks to enjoy - stuff they could never get elsewhere - the Director's Cut drives - like it or not, the DVD exists today due, to some degree, because of our efforts - the special raffle items - I mean someone walked off with an Eric Schweig mask for 50 bucks - the forum that this is - just knowing where all the sites are ... that's all because of some stupid notion I got back in May of '93 while breakfasting at Shoney's ... It really hurts - I mean it REALLY hurts - when I'm accused of doing this for selfish reasons. Not many, I don't think, have a clue. There are some. Most, as we all tend to do in life, take it all for granted, and there are another few who, for whatever reason, delight in ridiculing me. To mention it though, makes me paranoid or delusional. To defend what has been accomplished here seems to make a few think I'm seeking stroking again. I want no one to reply, on the Board, to this post, please, OK? ... not in a positive or supportive way. I get all the support I need every day from my family and friends and from the beautiful E-Mail I often receive about the Site. You think I'm an egotistical jerk? Go ahead and post about it. You've got an awfully short, and selective, memory. And you know what? Moles? I really wish I wouldn't see your IP show up in my site stats ever again. But, you are free to do so, love me or hate me, it's a free place - by choice. We COULD password protect the Board, but then, it wouldn't be the Board. I want lost souls in the wilderness to be able to wander in here, even IF Bumppo's is a shambles, and Clabert is cloutless.
I: Oh, sorry, didn't mean to set you off!
A: That's ok. It's easy to do.
I: So, what ARE your "intentions"?
A: My intentions always were, and still are, to share what I've learned about a classic film, a wondrous era, and a stunningly beautiful part of the country with any and all who want to partake. It's only when the egos start to clash - and you can't do that by yourself - that there's a problem.
I: And what do say to those who think you are a sick individual, on a power trip, who wants to control the masses.
A: Call me the Pied Piper, I suppose. But, whoever thinks THAT, now they might be delusional!
So folks, it really is sad, for me, anyway, that after all this time I STILL feel like have to defend myself. Not because of some delusion, but because of what people say to, and about, me ... in real life.
Believe me, I've only touched upon the "E-Mail of THIS Week"!
Bottom line is - and I've this a zillion, trillion times. The site ... the Gathering ... are not closed. They are open to all. And that includes, those who've wronged me; it includes all who've been wronged BY me. There is a quality - indefinable - perhaps - that has caused us all to fall together in the same place. There's been a lot of love here. Sometimes, not so. But, in retrospect, I'm joyful that we set this place up in the first place to allow it all to happen. I know I may have sounded harsh in a couple of places in this post - that's just me getting some things off my chest. I wish no malice towards any Mohicanlander, past or present.
In the end, after reading this, those of you who like me, hopefully still do, and those of you who hate me, probably will continue to do so. So, knowing that full well, why do I bother? Well, it�s like I said, I�ve got this little problem. I think out loud in public.
CURSED!
And so it goes ...
Happy Trails!