Somewhere ... Over the Rainbow ... ?

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: I woke up yesterday to the following words, plastered on my Internet "home" page:

: "Nothing matters very much, and very few things matter at all." 
: Arthur Balfour

: Believe it or not, there was tremendous comfort in those words ... even though I hardly believe them. In some twisted way, they put me in a better frame of mind.

: Yeah, the "unpleasantness" (as Doc M refers to it) of the past 2 weeks will not go away quickly for me. I am committed to going forward, but it is impossible to forget. It's impossible to forget all the good times. It's impossible to dismiss the friendships, however illusional they might have been.

: I guess, "hurt" is the operative word here. I suppose anger, bitterness, disillusionment, a feeling of having been used ... violated ... all have their place reserved within me, but hurt is what sums it all up the best. Simple hurt.

: I could go on defending myself ... it would be construed as whining.
: I could go on the offensive ... it would be labeled vindictive.
: I could say no more ... might you wonder, "Does he even care?"

: Of course, if you are reading this, you are probably neutral, at worst ... or perhaps just seeking some cheap "entertainment". Most folks who left did just that ... they left ... A couple linger on, in the background (must REALLY be having a time of it with that Richfed browser option! - sorry, "inside" joke!) ... Hi, Bill! ... I guess just to make sure I remain civilized. Kind of a rear-guard action, I guess.

: So, in reality, it probably doesn't amount to a hill of beans what I do or say. Nothing much matters anyway ... in the end, it's all inconsequential.

: But then, last night, I ended my day, at the request of my daughters, watching the DVD version of "You've Got Mail." A story book ending to a delightful little tale, featuring "Somewhere Over The Rainbow" to add some real clout to the finale. That tune can make anything seem sentimental and wring every drop of raw emotion from your gut. As we play out our lives in this impersonal world, that which is around us matters very much. It causes actions & reactions. It affects the next guy. It's all interconnected ... it really does matter.

: And I have no idea what I'm trying to say, other than a story book ending sure would have been nice! Unfortunately for us, "The Last of the Mohicans" didn't HAVE one of those ...


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