Posted by Seamus on July 03, 2001 at 11:48:03:
Greetings, friends--
I got the following from a friend who got it from a friend, etc.....the source is unknown. Since we, here in the Colonies, are about to celebrate our 225th year of Independence from the Crown tomorrow, I thought it appropos....
Pax aye!
Seamus
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Court of King George III
London, England
July 10, 1776
Mr. Thomas Jefferson
c/o The Continental Congress
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Dear Mr. Jefferson:
We have read your "Declaration of Independence" with great interest.
Certainly, it represents a considerable undertaking, and many of your
statements
do merit serious consideration. Unfortunately, the Declaration as a whole
fails to meet recently adopted specifications for proposals to the Crown,
so we
must return the document to you for further refinement. The questions
which
follow might assist you in your process of revision:
1. In your opening paragraph you use the phrase "the Laws of Nature
and Nature's God." What are these laws? In what way are they the
criteria on which you base your central arguments? Please document with
citations
from the recent literature.
2. In the same paragraph you refer to the "opinions of mankind."
Whose polling data are you using? Without specific evidence, it seems to
us the
"opinions of mankind" are a matter of opinion.
3. You hold certain truths to be "self-evident." Could you please
elaborate? If they are as evident as you claim then it should not be
difficult
for you to locate the appropriate supporting statistics.
4. "Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of happiness" seem to be the
goals of your proposal. These are not measurable goals. If you were to say
that
"among these is the ability to sustain an average life expectancy in six
of the
13 colonies of at least 55 years, and to enable newspapers in the colonies
to
print news without outside interference, and to raise the average income
of
the colonists by 10 percent in the next 10 years," these could be
measurable
goals. Please clarify.
5. You state that "Whenever any Form of Government becomes
destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to
abolish
it, and to institute a new Government...." Have you weighed this assertion
against all the alternatives? What are the trade-off considerations?
6. Your description of the existing situation is quite extensive.
Such a long list of grievances should precede the statement of goals, not
follow it. Your problem statement needs improvement.
7. Your strategy for achieving your goal is not developed at all.
You state that the colonies "ought to be Free and Independent States," and
that they are "Absolved from All Allegiance to the British Crown." Who or
what
must change to achieve this objective? In what way must they change? What
specific steps will you take to overcome the resistance? How long will it
take? We
have found that a little foresight in these areas helps to prevent
careless
errors later on. How cost-effective are your strategies?
8. Who among the list of signatories will be responsible for
implementing your strategy? Who conceived it? Who provided the theoretical
research?
Who will constitute the advisory committee? Please submit an organization
chart and vitas of the principal investigators.
9. You must include an evaluation design. We have been requiring
this since Queen Anne's War. What impact will your problem have? Your
failure
to include any assessment of this inspires little confidence in the
long-range
prospects of your undertaking.
10.Please submit a PERT diagram, an activity chart, itemized budget,
and manpower utilization matrix.
We hope that these comments prove useful in revising your
"Declaration of Independence." We welcome the submission of your revised
proposal.
Our due date for unsolicited proposals is July 31, 1776. Ten copies with
original
signatures will be required.
Sincerely,
Management Analyst to the British Crown