Posted by The Old Crone on May 27, 2001 at 10:02:19:
In Reply to: Re: And It Only Gets Worse! And Worse, and Worse, and Worse! posted by Sassy Soothsayer on May 26, 2001 at 22:04:25:
: Howdy-do, Mohicanland...it is *I*, Sassy Soothsayer, here, just flyin' in to see how my potions and spells are affecting the guilty parties...I mean, the good folks...of our community. I fixed up a few little charms last night that ought to be sortin' out the mess I discovered yesterday. Let's check it out!
: *ziiiiiiiiiiiiip* *zzzooooooooooooom*
: Ah-ha! I see a whole crowd of folk gathered at Miss Marcia's Famous DownHome Kitchen, even as I speak! No doubt they're straightening out all this silliness, and things will soon be right as rain! Let me swoop down just a mite closer so's I can enjoy all the happy smiles and riotous laughter! ACK!!! What the....??? Oh, good grief! These people just don't get anything right, do they? Wouldja lookit that! Miss Marcia's runnin' around, wringin' her hands & wailin' like the world's comin' to an end, and that Red-haired Lass is all but drooling on that Handsome Stranger, and there's Twiggy, launchin' her skinny self like a JAVELIN straight for the Wench's heart, and good golly olly! The Handsome Stranger is diving headfirst right through Miss Marcia's imported glass window! The Wench has leapt plumb outta her wench blouse in an effort to avoid Twiggy's attack, and She Who Tracks is scratchin' her head in wonderment while Hector just scratches his fleas, and Miss Katie's in the corner, a-blubberin' and a-wailin' that she's unwanted & unloved, and that idjit Bent Twigg has his long carabine all primed and aimed out the window, obviously tryin' to get a clear shot at the Handsome Stranger's fast disappearin' backside! Whoooooooo-eeeeeeeee! What a Rootin' Tootin' Spectacle this is! I musta put way too much Kickapoo Joy Juice in my potions, but dadblame! This is gettin' kinda amusin'!!
: Maybe instead of tryin' to calm things down, I should fly back home, get out my spell book, and see what else I can do to stir things up! Sounds like a Plan to ME! I...am...outta here!
: *ziiiiiiiiiiiiip* *zooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooom*
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WHAM! BANG! KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!!!! OPEN UP THE DOOR THERE!
Well, if it ain't the cream o' Mohicanland havin' one o' thur fancy parties! What I want to know is - - - where's that no-good, lazy, blankety blank *#@*** grandson o' mine, Grapeshot Ramrod, the useless, low-down skunk? HEY, YOU!! That's right YOU! Grapeshot! Haul yer lazy hulk back in here over that windersill and stand at ATTENTION, d'ya hear? Granny's back and ready to move inta the old wattle hut, and what do I find? The wattles is strewed all over the place, and the pig is rootin' up the dirt floor, and thur's no firewood to be had, and here's my lazy wastrel grandson in middle o' a mess, as usual! Stop yer yowlin', stoopid - - ain't like ye never got hauled in over a windersill by yer ear before! Now ye jist roll yer lazy hulk down the hill and git scrappin' up them wattles and rebuildin'. Yer livin' with ME from now on, stinker, and Granny'll see that yer mendin' yer ways purty quick!
Move, folks. Jist clear outta my way while I drag this sorry Lothario outta here and leave ye to yer socializin'.
DRAG. HAUL. PANT. PANT. SLAM!!!!!!
The Old Crone