What A Revoltin' Development THIS Is!

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Posted by Sassy Soothsayer on May 24, 2001 at 17:08:47:

*zzzzziiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiip, zoooooooooooooooooommmmm*

Howdy, Mohicanland! It is I, Sassy Soothsayer, just taking a spin over our little community to see what-all's been goin' on during my absence. Taking Miss Marcia down to the Fat Farm (she don't like me callin' it that none, ya know!) for two weeks has left me sorely out of touch with my fellow citizens. I'll just take Ol' Purple down real close for a bit of a look-see, and find out what's what.

Great Goobley-Ooobeley! Wot's all this, then? Can that be Benton (Just Call Me Bent) Twigg I see down there acting the fool with that skinny corset model, Twiggy? What CAN that man be thinkin'? He has a perfectly wonderful woman already, or has he forgotten all those trips to Miss Marcia's Famous DownHome Kitchen for fuu-uuuuuudge??? Ain't that just like a man! Go away for a few days, tryin' to make yerself more pleasin' to the eye, and they up and find someone new to play big, strong hero for!! I'd best get on over to Miss Marcia's and put her wise to his philanderin' ways.....

*zzzooooooooooooooooooooooooooooom*

I'll just park right here under the spreading chestnut tree, and go break the news to Miss Marcia, gentle-like, of course. Wait a tick! NOW what's goin' on? Why are all those customers stomping off in snits and huffs, complainin' they can't get waited on in the DownHome Kitchen? Not like Miss Marcia to give poor service to her patrons. Oh, GEEEEEZE LEW-STEEENKING-WEEEEEEEZE!! Who in the world is that Handsome Stranger she's hanging all over? Lookit her! Simperin' an' gigglin' and acting like a NINNY! What's going on here??? I wonder if that's the new feller in town that Red's been eyeing...let's see... Rugged good looks, check. Tall & lean, check. Long, wavy CLEAN hair, check. I'd bet the farm (if'n I had one) that's the very same guy! Well, I can see HE'S gonna be trouble, if all the wimmen-folk around the village react like Red & Miss Marcia!

And speaking of Miss Marcia, again...it would appear from the way she's stuffin' her chipmunk cheeks in there that she has FALLEN OFF THE FUDGE PLATTER!! Obviously, our trip to that so-called "Spa" was a complete waste of time, not to mention that it gave that LOUT Benton Twigg a chance to two-time my own sweet, genteel, lady-like and RE-fined, though very full-figured, sister.

What a mess this all is! Why it's worse than "As the Stomach Turns," or "All My Mohicanland Children!" Why, why...it's so bad, I'm comparin' it to things that haven't even been INVENTED yet!!!

I'd best go home and cogitate a bit on what to do, here. I think this is going to call for a spell or six. Better get out the ol' cauldron and my herbs and potions. It's apparently up to me, Sassy Soothsayer, to save Mohicanland!

I'm off! (Don't say it!).......ziiiiiiiiiiiiip, zooooooooooooom!

Follow Ups:

Re: What A Revoltin' Development THIS Is! and The Willow Weeps Willow Twigg 20:47:42 5/24/2001 (11)
- Re: What A Revoltin' Development THIS Is! Bent Twigg 21:15:03 5/24/2001 (10)
  - Re: What A Revoltin' Development THIS Is! Grapeshot Ramrod 07:36:05 5/25/2001 (9)
    - Re: What A Revoltin' Development THIS Is! Sheriff Twigg 19:17:59 5/25/2001 (8)
      - Re: What A Revoltin' Development THIS Is! And It Only Gets Worse! Miss Marcia 20:01:42 5/25/2001 (7)
        
        Re: What A Revoltin' Development THIS Is! And It Only Gets Worse! She Who Tracks La Longue Carabine 12:44:14 5/26/2001 (6)
        
        Re: What A Revoltin' Development THIS Is! And It Only Gets Worse! Miss Katie 17:09:47 5/26/2001 (5)
        
        Re: What A Revoltin' Development THIS Is! And It Only Gets Worse! Red-Haired Lass 21:36:02 5/26/2001 (4)
        
        Re: And It Only Gets Worse! And Worse, and Worse, and Worse! Sassy Soothsayer 22:04:25 5/26/2001 (3)
        
        Re: And It Only Gets Worse! And Worse, and Worse, and Worse! The Old Crone 10:02:19 5/27/2001 (2)
        
        Re: And It Only Gets Worse! And Worse, and Worse, and Worse! Miss Marcia 11:22:32 5/27/2001 (1)
        
        Re: And It Only Gets Worse! Anyone know first aid? Red-Haired Lass 18:30:49 5/27/2001 (0)

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: *zzzzziiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiip, zoooooooooooooooooommmmm*

: Howdy, Mohicanland! It is I, Sassy Soothsayer, just taking a spin over our little community to see what-all's been goin' on during my absence. Taking Miss Marcia down to the Fat Farm (she don't like me callin' it that none, ya know!) for two weeks has left me sorely out of touch with my fellow citizens. I'll just take Ol' Purple down real close for a bit of a look-see, and find out what's what.

: Great Goobley-Ooobeley! Wot's all this, then? Can that be Benton (Just Call Me Bent) Twigg I see down there acting the fool with that skinny corset model, Twiggy? What CAN that man be thinkin'? He has a perfectly wonderful woman already, or has he forgotten all those trips to Miss Marcia's Famous DownHome Kitchen for fuu-uuuuuudge??? Ain't that just like a man! Go away for a few days, tryin' to make yerself more pleasin' to the eye, and they up and find someone new to play big, strong hero for!! I'd best get on over to Miss Marcia's and put her wise to his philanderin' ways.....

: *zzzooooooooooooooooooooooooooooom*

: I'll just park right here under the spreading chestnut tree, and go break the news to Miss Marcia, gentle-like, of course. Wait a tick! NOW what's goin' on? Why are all those customers stomping off in snits and huffs, complainin' they can't get waited on in the DownHome Kitchen? Not like Miss Marcia to give poor service to her patrons. Oh, GEEEEEZE LEW-STEEENKING-WEEEEEEEZE!! Who in the world is that Handsome Stranger she's hanging all over? Lookit her! Simperin' an' gigglin' and acting like a NINNY! What's going on here??? I wonder if that's the new feller in town that Red's been eyeing...let's see... Rugged good looks, check. Tall & lean, check. Long, wavy CLEAN hair, check. I'd bet the farm (if'n I had one) that's the very same guy! Well, I can see HE'S gonna be trouble, if all the wimmen-folk around the village react like Red & Miss Marcia!

: And speaking of Miss Marcia, again...it would appear from the way she's stuffin' her chipmunk cheeks in there that she has FALLEN OFF THE FUDGE PLATTER!! Obviously, our trip to that so-called "Spa" was a complete waste of time, not to mention that it gave that LOUT Benton Twigg a chance to two-time my own sweet, genteel, lady-like and RE-fined, though very full-figured, sister.

: What a mess this all is! Why it's worse than "As the Stomach Turns," or "All My Mohicanland Children!" Why, why...it's so bad, I'm comparin' it to things that haven't even been INVENTED yet!!!

: I'd best go home and cogitate a bit on what to do, here. I think this is going to call for a spell or six. Better get out the ol' cauldron and my herbs and potions. It's apparently up to me, Sassy Soothsayer, to save Mohicanland!

: I'm off! (Don't say it!).......ziiiiiiiiiiiiip, zooooooooooooom!

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