Posted by Theresa on May 24, 2001 at 06:29:01:
In Reply to: Home At Last! posted by Miss Marcia on May 23, 2001 at 23:49:29:
: *yaaaaaaaaaawn...streeeeeeeettttttcccch!*
: My, it sure feels good to be sleeping in my own bed again, but I reckon it's time to get up and get started on my day. Lots to do! After all, my Famous DownHome Kitchen has been closed for two whole weeks, and folks must be gettin' really desperate for some good ol' Southern cookin' by now! I'll just fix me a cuppa tea, and start right in! *sluuuurp!* Ah, that's mighty tasty...yikes! What's all that noise at the window? Why it's a little ol' bird, just a-flutterin' and a-flappin' around on the sill...looks for all the world like he's peekin' in at me! How cute! Hello, little birdie, hello! If you're still here after lunch, I'll have some crumbs for you.
: *rumble, growl, rumbly-rum*
: Goodness! How unladylike and unREfined of me! I suppose I'd better have a bite of breakfast before my tummy wakes up the neighbors! But, what in the world can I eat? For nigh unto 14 days, I been nibblin' at carrot sticks and celery stalks and other bits o' greenery and leafage. If I didn't see another vegetable in this lifetime, it would suit me fine! That "Spa" Sassy flew me down to sure could have used ME in their kitchen, I must say!
: However...I have to admit, it really did the trick! I do believe I had been samplin' a bit too much of my DownHome cookin' over the last couple of years, but I've sure been whipped back into shape. It was a lot of hard work, but a gal's got to do her best to keep her youthful figger, doncha know! Why, I've just about wasted away to a mere shadow of my former self! I feel light as a feather! I feel pretty as a picture! I feel happy as a lark! I feel...I feel...I feel HUUUUUUUUUUNGGGGGRRYYYYY!!!! Dadgum! I'm STARVIN'!!! I could eat a COW!! I could eat a HORSE! I could eat...THIS PLATTER OF FUU-UUUDGE I JUST FOUND IN THE BACK OF THE PANTRY!!!
: Oh, but I shouldn't! I couldn't!! I'll just take my cup of tea out here to the verandah, and breathe deeply of the fresh Mohicanland air, and think about something else until I feel better. After sweatin' through all those classes in A-robicks, and runnin' around the Spa grounds half the day, and groanin' and moanin' through all that stretchin' and bendin', I'd hate to backslide now. FOOD is NOT my life! Well, actually it is, bein' as how I run a kitchen, an' all...but that's beside the point! The point is, I have willpower! I have stamina!!! I have...HUNGER PAAAAAAAAINS!!! Oh, this is terrible! Where are the Food Police when you really need them!??
: But now that I think about it, it surely wouldn't hurt if I was to have just one little itty bitty teensy weensy piece of my delicious fuu-uuuudge. No, I think one piece is just what I need to get over this terrible craving, so I'll just come back into the kitchen here, and have juuuust this one eensy little piece. *Chomp* Oh, that was surely not a whole piece. It was way too small to have been a whole piece, so I think it would be perfectly all right if I have a little bit more to make up for the fact that THAT piece was undersized. *Chomp* Oh, I DO make the best fuu-uuuuudge in the world, if I say so myownself! You know, I don't imagine that two pieces would be all that much worse than ONE. A second piece would really give me the strength to get busy fixin' up lunch for everyone. *Chomp, chomp* And I do think I need something cold to wash it down...this leftover mint julep in this jug will do just fine. *sluuuurp* Hmmmm...what's this? A broken off piece of fuu-uuudge here. Well, I'll just eat that broken bit, just to even things up. *Chomp* Oh, so rich and sweet and DEEElicious!! But I'll just put the platter back into the pantry now. Whoooooops!! I dropped a piece! Can't put that back on the plate! I'll just dust it off and eat it, too. *Chomp, chomp* Now there's an uneven number on the plate! That will never do! *Chomp, chomp* Okay, I'll put the platter away now. I...WILL...PUT...THE...PLATTER...AWAY...NOW! Putting it away, putting it away...ARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!
: *CHOMPCHOMPCHOMPCHOMPCHOMPCHOMPCHOMPCHOMP*
: *SLUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURP*
: *hic*
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OOOOOO!, Marcia. Know how you feel. After returning from the College World Series, where we finished fifth in the nation (not too shabby), I now must return to the gym. AARRGGHH! Hope all this "whoopin'" into shape will help with all the hiking and mountain climbing in store. Now, be good. Chomp on those celery sticks and I'll see the svelt self you are in about three weeks! Can't wait!
Theresa
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