Re: Voices in the Forest & A LOVE Survey & Overheard Later That Evenin' by Little Birdie

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: : : Well, now, wait a minute here, Miss Marcia.  Ye been ramblin' on about various o' things so fast I have not had a chance to get my thoughts together on any one o' them.  Yes indeed, I did get stopped on the Men Who Wear Leatherstockings on Their Heads, and I been tryin' to figgur it out, since I never saw one o' those creatur's in all my born days.  My question is -- then what do they wear on the rest o' their bodies? 

: : : I surely would like to know what is in the rest of those Cosmo PollyTown magazines, though as you know, I did not misspend my youth at the knees of women learnin' the meanin' o' little black marks, so I'm afeard the writin' would be wasted on me.  Howsever, I am good at understandin' pictur's if they tell the story as well as the words.

: : : I do think ye might could give yer approach to Bent another look-see afore ye go doin' yerself some hurt.  Word has it among the officers at the fort that Bent has taken up with some thin-as-a-rail young woman who comes around on a circuit modellin' fancy and curve-definin' garments.  I understand she goes by the name o' Twiggy and from what I hear, she would not be averse to bein' billed as Twiggy Twigg.  O' course, how Bent feels about such a move is more than I can say, not havin' discussed it with him direct-like, but mebbe ye should extend a bit of a peace sign, short o' talkin' to the young woman herself, which ye may do without undue inconvenience, seein' as she's agoing to be joinin' me at my cabin tomorrow evenin' for a small repast of stewed ven'son in an effort to acclimate herself to pioneer tastes.  She seems eager to learn the ways of the frontier, sartain, though I'm not sure why.

: : : It's been most kind o' ye to provide all this grand fuuuuu-uuudge and brandy and whatnot, and I must say, it has been fine talkin' over old times.  I must be gettin' on back to the cabin now, since Hector's awaitin' for his dinner.  Thank ye kiindly for yer hospitality.

: : : She Who Tracks La Longue Carabine

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: : 
: : *chirp-chirp-chirple*  *snuggling down in the nest*
: : Ahhhhh...thank goodness I have my nice, cozy nest here in this oak tree, right outside Miss Marcia's kitchen window.  It's such a snug little home, and I'm such a lucky birdie to have it.  *yawwwwwwn!*  Better be goin' to sleep now...chirple, chirple...yaaaaaaaaawn!*   *chirpzzzzzzzzzzzzz........*

: : *SLAM!  BANG!!  CRASH!!*

: : Yikes!!  What the heck is that awful racket coming from Miss Marcia's kitchen?  I'd best hop on down to the windowsill & take a little peek....*flutter*....hmmmmmmmmmmm...Miss Marcia seems to be running amok in the pantry!  Chirp!!  What's that she's muttering to herself as she flings pots & pans about?  *Puts little birdie ear against windowpane*

: : "Twiggy Twigg...TWIGGY TWIGG???  I'll give her a TWIG all right!  Right up beside her pointy little head!!!  We'll see how she feels about TWIGS then!! How dare some young, skinny snip come around hankerin' after my man?  HOW DARE SHE!!!!"

: : *hurls cast iron skillet against wall...KABLAMMMM!* 

: : "I'll kick her an' pull  her hair an' scratch her eyebulbs out!!"

: : *throws muffin pan on floor & stomps it flat!* 

: : "She's probably struttin' around in those curve-making garments an' battin' her eyelashes an' simperin' an' gigglin'...ARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGH!!!  It's enough to make a body sick!  SICK, I tell you!  And that chowderhead Benton is probably fallin' for it all, hook, line & sinker!  He's just gullible enough to have his head turned by a sweet young thing, all right. TWIGGY TWIGG...why the very thought makes me positively livid!!"

: : *breaks soup ladle in half just thinking about it!  SNAP!!!*

: : "I won't have it.  I won't have it, I say!"

: : *throws locket with miniature of Sheriff Twigg in it on the floor and jumps up and down on it repeatedly!  Thud, thud, thud, thud, thud!*  

: : *Outside window, horrified Little Birdie flies back to nest, afraid to watch any longer!*  

: : "Chirp, chirp...ohmeohmy!  Miss Marcia's gonna blow a gasket if she doesn't calm down in there.  I can't watch.  It's not a pretty sight, chirple. I sure hope she feels better by morning, else I fear for the safety of our good Sheriff...and maybe even for the population of Mohicanland in general.  After all, hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, and I do believe Miss Marcia's feelin' scorned all over the place right now.  Guess I'll just stuff a couple of acorns in my ears & try to get some sleep.  Hope daylight brings an end to this!"

: : Chirple, chirple, chirplezzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

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: There, there, Miss Marcia, no need to go flippin' yer pan lids over this rumor. Ye're disturbin' the wildlife.   Calm down a bit and reconsider yer approach -  - YIKES! Ye near brained me with that soup tureen!   Now just hold on a goldurned minute and listen to reason!

: Why don't ye come down to the cabin this evenin' and set a spell with me and Miss Twiggy and get the feel o' her intentions.  After all, there may be nothin' in these rumors at all, and ye'd look mighty foolish throwin' a fit over a spurious rumor, let alone commitin' murder, which I plainly see is in yer thoughts.  Have another soothin' sip o' yer cherry brandy and then tidy up yer hair and put on yer prettiest gown, and meet us at the cabin in an hour.  Sartain ye'll find there's naught to fret about when ye meet the skinny little stick.  Or if there is, ye'll be thinkin' clearer about how to deal with the situation.

: That's it -  - get that wild look outta yer eyes and show the young sprig ye're a first class lady to be reckoned with.

: See ye at the cabin in a short while.

: She 


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