Posted by Aunt Aggie on April 12, 2001 at 18:44:52:
An' that means that I'll be headin' out from Camden Towne here in the Carolina colony for Mohicanland tomorra with the newest shipment of Smooth Laddie Wax, bein' as I'm sure with summer breechclout an'kilt season fresh upon us the braw lads there'll be wantin' tae show off their best assets! Red's Cousin Ian, the sharpshooter, will be accompanyin' me for to ward off all an'sundry highwaymen, plunderers an' other bad sorts. Rumor has it one of yer fine merchant women recently suffered a delved duvet at the hands of the Tax Collector an' Ian was willin' to tae provide him with a wee bit o'musket therapy as punishment, but the kind lady begged off. So, if any of you folk hae been wronged an' would like Ian to have a word with them that wronged ye, he'll be available. Fer a verra small fee.
We expect to be arrivin' by Easter Sunday an'will be stayin in Red's cabin. New shipment o'Smooth Laddie Wax should be for sale in Bumppo's by Monday mornin'. Start savin' yer shillin's, fellas,Aunt Aggie don't accept wampum.
Yers,
Aunt Aggie
CEO Smooth Laddie Wax Inc.
Camden Towne.