PS - You're Brilliant, Miss!!

Name    : 
E-Mail  : 
Subject : 

Comments:
: : : : ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
: : : : Howdy do, Miss... er, 'Red',

: : : : I do believe you have the rights o' this business!!  Duvet delvin' is DEFINITELY not decent (exceptin' was I wed to this man!!  Wed to a Tax Collector????  I think NOT!!)  

: : : : I still CANNOT believe the B... GALL of that man, takin' it as his right to poke through my drawers, rifle through my counterpanes and fumble in my beddin'!!!  Why, my bedding could very well be covering some innocent young maiden, such as yourse... well, someone not used to having their duvet desecrated by the hands of a... a... TAX COLLECTOR!!!  It doesn't bear thinkin' about!!! Why, the ladies of Mohicanland would have EVERY RIGHT to 'picket' my little es-tablishment, and refuse to purchase my soiled and bespoiled bedding!! And then where would *I* be, with my reputation as besmirched as my bedding????

: : : : I AM sorely tempted to exact revenge in the shape o' your cousin, Ian!!  Seems to me a blast in the pants by a mighty big shotgun would go a LOOOOOONG way to salvaging my honour, in this business!!

: : : : However, I do believe that Miss and Marcia and 'She...' are, even as we speak, preparing to engage in 'battle' with a little 'shotgun' of their own, in the guise of 'Miss Marcia's Bilious Bubbling Bladderwort Broth (otherwise known as Miss Marcia's Special') and 'She...'s Spruce Surprise', and a little hint (I LIED!! I GREAT, HUGE dose!!) of Doc Mary's Runny Gut Elixir!! And if THAT ain't good for what ails that durn Tax Collector, I elect that Ian be 'Plan B'!

: : : : I'm much obliged by your very kind offer to have Cousin Ian 'do the business'.  It has been my experience that Tax Collectors can be the very devil to 'put down', so... it would behoove us to have Cousin Ian clean and oil the shotgun 'just in case'...

: : : : Your grateful fri'nd,
: : : : Miss Katie.  

: : : ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

: : : My Dear Miss Katie,

: : : I am SEW sorry to hear your sad, sad tale of woe at the hands of that rascally IRS personage!  It grieves me to think of all the mischief that scoundrel has gotten up to in our beloved Mohicanland....HOWSEVER, I must point out to you that *I*, Miss Marcia, have NEVER, EVER even DREAMED of cookin' up something as horrid as that Bilious Bubbling stuff you mentioned!  Why, where *I* come from, a genteel & REE-fined Southern lady such as myself wouldn't dream of even SAYING BLA****WORT, let alone cooking with it!!!  You have made a common mistake, dear Miss Katie, of confusing me with my EVILE twin sister, Sassy Soothsayer.  Now that wicked ol' Sassy would cook ANYTHING that didn't cook HER first!  She's notorious for her vile & smelly concoctions, doncha know!  And though I'm far too much of a lady to cook any of 'em up, I must say I have been known to indulge in the usage of a leetle dab of one of her potions from time to time, myownself.  They do come in handy for various jobs that need doin'!  

: : : Now as for this nasty ol' IRS fella, were it left up to ME, I'd be inclinced to feed him a big ol' plate of my downhome FUUUU-UUUUDGE, doncha know...just on the theory that one catches more flies with honey than with vinegar.  Yes, kill 'em with kindness, that's MY strategy!  But I'll stand back this time & let you, She-Who-Tracks, Sassy & Red take care of this problem.  I've got problems of my OWN to deal with right now...but that's another story............

: : : Yours Most Graciously,
: : : Miss Marcia
: : : (NOT to be confused with her TWIN SISTER, SASSY!)

: : ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

: : Oooops, my mistake, Miss Marcia!! OF COURSE it's your EVILE TWIN SISTER that makes up those smelly, nasty, bilious potions!!! I knew that all the time!! (Jees, those sisters look SOOO alike!!).  

: : Just lost ma' concentration due to bein' so dis-tressed!!! Had you had YOUR beddin' rumbled, I assure you, YOU wouldn't be thinkin' none to clearly, neither!!! 

: : Beggin' your pardon, Miss,
: : Miss Katie.
: : *sigh*... I'm sure there was no call to get sooo de-fensive!! This - from a friend, when I'm clearly in a state of agitation... *sigh*

: *****************

: Dear Miss Marcia,

: Oh, *I* get it!!!  I apologise - You were acting for my benefit. I misunderstood! If'n Sassy and 'She...'s' little drinkie-poo doesn't work - and Cousin Ian misses his shot - your suggestin' we put some of the special mixin's in YOUR FUUUUUUUUDGE!!!  What an EXCELLENT idea!!! 'Kill 'im with kindness' - yes indeed, Miss Marcia, that's pure, dead BRILLIANT!  

: We shall get that nasty ol' IRS fella ONE WAY OR ANOTHER!!! (We don't have NO room for NO Tax Collectors in Mohicanland!!) 

: Yers,
: Miss Katie.


Optional Link URL:  
Link Title:         
Optional Image URL: