Re: Post-Tax Payin' Hooohaaaa at Bumppo's

Posted by Kate on April 07, 2001 at 12:50:34:

In Reply to: Re: Post-Tax Payin' Hooohaaaa at Bumppo's posted by Red-Haired Lass on April 07, 2001 at 10:41:59:

: : :
: : : : Howdy-DO, Red!

: : : : It is I, Sassy Soothsayer, zipping by on Ol' Purple just to find out hot Life's treating a strapping young Wench like yerself, lately? I hear there's to be a big BREW-Haha at Bumppo's tonight? Jest wantcha to know I plan to attend and I'm bringing along a cauldron full of my famous springtime concoction, Bilious Bubbling Bladderwort Broth, made special for that tax collector seen skulkin' about lately. I hear he's working for somethin' called the I.R.S., otherwise known as the Irritatin' Revenue-collection Society, and I think he deserves a big ol' tankard of my special brew. It'll fix what AILS him, believe you me! heheeeeeeeeeee! Not to mention the effects it will have on his hair, his eyebulbs and his innards!! Tell yer friends not to miss this one...it'll be a sight to behold, sartain!

: : : : See you soon!

: : : : Yers Enchantingly,
: : : : Sassy
: : : : *zzzzzzzzzzzziiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiip-zoooooooooooooooom!*

: : : Sassy and Red,

: : : I will be there, sartain. Durn tax collector took half my pelts, and I will be bringin' along a jug of well-aged Spruce ye can mix with yer Bilious Bubbling Bladderwort Broth. We can fill him up real good and then turn him over to Dr. Mary and her Happy Hurons for curin'.

: : : She Who Tracks La Longue Carabine

: : ******************

: : What - the IRS man did the dirty on you too, 'She...'?? Well, I think a 'Brew-Haha' is DEFINITELY in order!!

: : Do you know, that man had the B... GALL to go rakin' through my bedding??? Can you believe that??!! Not ONLY that, he... wait for this!! He had the audacity to go fumbling through my DRAWERS!!! If he didn't inspect, bisect, dissect, and reject every statement, receipt, my en-tire Accounts Receivable Ledger, not to mention delving through my duvets, in my little es-tablishment, well, he made a pretty good pretense at it!!!

: : M'dear 'She...', I do believe you got off lightly!!! I feel used, abused and quite frankly, VIOLATED!! So - all *I* can say is - 'pass the squeezin's, Red! And let's go watch that jumped up little upstart try to Collect DOC MARY'S taxes!! THAT has got to be good for what ails US!!!'

: : See you at Bumppo's!!
: : Miss Katie.

: Miss Katie:
: It appears to me that the tax collector has done MORE than abuse and violate yer beddin'. Did ye say that he went delvin' in your duvets? Back in Carolina where I was raised, duvet-delvin' if ye're not wed to a lass is considered a serious offense. If ye be desirin' some appropriate revenge, knock on me cabin door this afternoon and we'll be sendin' a dispatch to my cousin Ian. Who is easily the best shot in Camden Towne, is nae fond of tax collectors, and will be willin' to travel a fur piece for to save the honor of a good upstandin' business woman what has had her duvet delved.
: Awaitin' yer response, in outrage,
: Red

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Howdy do, Miss... er, 'Red',

I do believe you have the rights o' this business!! Duvet delvin' is DEFINITELY not decent (exceptin' was I wed to this man!! Wed to a Tax Collector???? I think NOT!!)

I still CANNOT believe the B... GALL of that man, takin' it as his right to poke through my drawers, rifle through my counterpanes and fumble in my beddin'!!! Why, my bedding could very well be covering some innocent young maiden, such as yourse... well, someone not used to having their duvet desecrated by the hands of a... a... TAX COLLECTOR!!! It doesn't bear thinkin' about!!! Why, the ladies of Mohicanland would have EVERY RIGHT to 'picket' my little es-tablishment, and refuse to purchase my soiled and bespoiled bedding!! And then where would *I* be, with my reputation as besmirched as my bedding????

I AM sorely tempted to exact revenge in the shape o' your cousin, Ian!! Seems to me a blast in the pants by a mighty big shotgun would go a LOOOOOONG way to salvaging my honour, in this business!!

However, I do believe that Miss and Marcia and 'She...' are, even as we speak, preparing to engage in 'battle' with a little 'shotgun' of their own, in the guise of 'Miss Marcia's Bilious Bubbling Bladderwort Broth (otherwise known as Miss Marcia's Special') and 'She...'s Spruce Surprise', and a little hint (I LIED!! I GREAT, HUGE dose!!) of Doc Mary's Runny Gut Elixir!! And if THAT ain't good for what ails that durn Tax Collector, I elect that Ian be 'Plan B'!

I'm much obliged by your very kind offer to have Cousin Ian 'do the business'. It has been my experience that Tax Collectors can be the very devil to 'put down', so... it would behoove us to have Cousin Ian clean and oil the shotgun 'just in case'...

Your grateful fri'nd,
Miss Katie.

Follow Ups:

• Re: Post-Tax Payin' Hooohaaaa at Bumppo's And A Message of Clarification to Miss Katie O' Arbroath! Miss Marcia 16:44:36 4/07/2001 (4)
  • Re: Post-Tax Payin' Hooohaaaa at Bumppo's And A Message of Clarification to Miss Katie O' Arbroath! Kate 20:06:20 4/07/2001 (2)
    • PS - You're Brilliant, Miss!! Miss Katie 20:46:48 4/07/2001 (0)
    • Re: Post-Tax Payin' Hooohaaaa at Bumppo's And A Message of Clarification to Miss Katie O' Arbroath! Miss Marcia 20:41:45 4/07/2001 (0)
  • A Message of Clarification to Miss Katie O' Arbroath! & Ooooops! Miss Marcia 16:46:55 4/07/2001 (0)

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: : : : 
: : : : : Howdy-DO, Red!

: : : : : It is I, Sassy Soothsayer, zipping by on Ol' Purple just to find out hot Life's treating a strapping young Wench like yerself, lately?  I hear there's to be a big BREW-Haha at Bumppo's tonight?  Jest wantcha to know I plan to attend and I'm bringing along a cauldron full of my famous springtime concoction, Bilious Bubbling Bladderwort Broth, made special for that tax collector seen skulkin' about lately.  I hear he's working for somethin' called the I.R.S., otherwise known as the Irritatin' Revenue-collection Society, and I think he deserves a big ol' tankard of my special brew.  It'll fix what AILS him, believe you me!  heheeeeeeeeeee!  Not to mention the effects it will have on his hair, his eyebulbs and his innards!!  Tell yer friends not to miss this one...it'll be a sight to behold, sartain!

: : : : : See you soon!

: : : : : Yers Enchantingly,
: : : : : Sassy
: : : : : *zzzzzzzzzzzziiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiip-zoooooooooooooooom!*

: : : : Sassy and Red,

: : : : I will be there, sartain.  Durn tax collector took half my pelts, and I will be bringin' along a jug of well-aged Spruce ye can mix with yer Bilious Bubbling Bladderwort Broth. We can fill him up real good and then turn him over to Dr. Mary and her Happy Hurons for curin'.

: : : : She Who Tracks La Longue Carabine

: : : ******************

: : : What - the IRS man did the dirty on you too, 'She...'??  Well, I think a 'Brew-Haha' is DEFINITELY in order!!  

: : : Do you know, that man had the B... GALL to go rakin' through my bedding??? Can you believe that??!!  Not ONLY that, he... wait for this!!  He had the audacity to go fumbling through my DRAWERS!!! If he didn't inspect, bisect, dissect, and reject every statement, receipt, my en-tire Accounts Receivable Ledger, not to mention delving through my duvets, in my little es-tablishment, well, he made a pretty good pretense at it!!! 

: : : M'dear 'She...', I do believe you got off lightly!!! I feel used, abused and quite frankly, VIOLATED!! So - all *I* can say is - 'pass the squeezin's, Red! And let's go watch that jumped up little upstart try to Collect DOC MARY'S taxes!!  THAT has got to be good for what ails US!!!'

: : : See you at Bumppo's!!
: : : Miss Katie.

: : Miss Katie:
: : It appears to me that the tax collector has done MORE than abuse and violate yer beddin'. Did ye say that he went delvin' in your duvets? Back in Carolina where I was raised, duvet-delvin' if ye're not wed to a lass is considered a serious offense. If ye be desirin' some appropriate revenge, knock on me cabin door this afternoon and we'll be sendin' a dispatch to my cousin Ian. Who is easily the best shot in Camden Towne, is nae fond of tax collectors, and will be willin' to travel a fur piece for to save the honor of a good upstandin' business woman what has had her duvet delved. 
: : Awaitin' yer response, in outrage,
: : Red

: ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
: Howdy do, Miss... er, 'Red',

: I do believe you have the rights o' this business!!  Duvet delvin' is DEFINITELY not decent (exceptin' was I wed to this man!!  Wed to a Tax Collector????  I think NOT!!)  

: I still CANNOT believe the B... GALL of that man, takin' it as his right to poke through my drawers, rifle through my counterpanes and fumble in my beddin'!!!  Why, my bedding could very well be covering some innocent young maiden, such as yourse... well, someone not used to having their duvet desecrated by the hands of a... a... TAX COLLECTOR!!!  It doesn't bear thinkin' about!!! Why, the ladies of Mohicanland would have EVERY RIGHT to 'picket' my little es-tablishment, and refuse to purchase my soiled and bespoiled bedding!! And then where would *I* be, with my reputation as besmirched as my bedding????

: I AM sorely tempted to exact revenge in the shape o' your cousin, Ian!!  Seems to me a blast in the pants by a mighty big shotgun would go a LOOOOOONG way to salvaging my honour, in this business!!

: However, I do believe that Miss and Marcia and 'She...' are, even as we speak, preparing to engage in 'battle' with a little 'shotgun' of their own, in the guise of 'Miss Marcia's Bilious Bubbling Bladderwort Broth (otherwise known as Miss Marcia's Special') and 'She...'s Spruce Surprise', and a little hint (I LIED!! I GREAT, HUGE dose!!) of Doc Mary's Runny Gut Elixir!! And if THAT ain't good for what ails that durn Tax Collector, I elect that Ian be 'Plan B'!

: I'm much obliged by your very kind offer to have Cousin Ian 'do the business'.  It has been my experience that Tax Collectors can be the very devil to 'put down', so... it would behoove us to have Cousin Ian clean and oil the shotgun 'just in case'...

: Your grateful fri'nd,
: Miss Katie.  


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