Posted by Dr. Uncle Mark on March 21, 2001 at 08:00:29:
As the final strains of the Last of the Mohicans movie waned away on the television, the niece and nephew let out a sigh.
"Oh, Dr. Uncle Mark", said Hannah sadly, "this movie is the best and we always are sad when it's ended. To see the three of our heroes standing at the top, as they salute Uncas, and the words of Chingachgook, and, oh, it makes my heart fill with tears...."
Hiram puffed himself up. "And that Magua! What a skunk he was! If I could ever meet him, I'd give him a punch in the nose. I sure wish I could meet up with him sometime. Let me at 'im. Let me at 'im!"
Dr. Uncle laughed. "Hold on there, little Buckeroo. Don't be too hard on old Magua. You have to remember the Indian saying...walk a mile in my moccassins! We don't know what it's like to have lived like Magua and to make him act that way. To be sure, I'd like to meet him too. But, I'd like to shake his hand and talk to him about his life!! Anyway, we have our own Magua in the Chronicles. Redbud, you know!!"
Hannah and Hiram jumped up onto Dr. Uncle Mark's lap and began squealing. "Tell us about Redbud, Dr. Uncle. What happened to him? Did our MacWilliam family wipe him out!!"
Dr. Uncle Mark settled his niece and nephew on his lap and he began......
Malcolm and Davey will always remember the days around the 21st of March as the "Red Letter Days". For it was on the 20th of March that all the lads were finally together, all of them in the stockade at Bedford: all the 77th Grenadiers, all the friends we've learned to know, Malcolm and Davey; plus all the others that came to Bedford to wipe out Redbud, so the revenge of this fiend would end. Seamus, Many Flags, and Three Tales had come into the Fort...FINALLY....after laying in a ravine for over a week, waiting for a signal from Malcolm and Davey...which had never appeared (a lack of communication, Capt Croy growled!!). Halfbreed and his Patuxents had also arrived; Sign talker had been pulled into the stockade by Bristlebrush. And Uncle Quasi and Uncle Angus were flitting around in the forest, watching all that happened from afar.
The Red Letter Days...they were called. The day before the 20th, the mystery of Calsious Shatto was revealed. For the Captain lined up all the Grenadiers, called Calsious forward, stuck a shilling in his hand and declared, "Lad, you are now one of us. Your stint as horseman for the troops is over. You are a Highland Grenadier and you are to assume your rightful name!" For, it seems that this man we knew as Shatto, was never a Shatto. Yes, he had served with Col. Bouquet in the European Wars several years before, but he was a Highlander and his real name was Robertson. Serving Col. Bouquet and protecting him was his job and now that the Colony of Penns Woods was clear of the French, Bouquet had released this man from his service. Calsious took his rightful name of Robertson and had decided to join the King's troops again, this time with the 77th Grenadiers. The Lads welcomed him with slaps on the back and drinks from their scotch flasks.
Yes, it was a Red Letter Day because Calsious "Shatto" Robertson was now wearing the King's red coat. But, one of his duties as a new man of the Grenadier Company was to clean the oatmeal pot! So, on the morning of the 21st of March, after the men...Seamus, Flags and Tales included, and Halfbreed with the Patuxents.....after they had a sumptuous breakfast of oatmeal....Robertson was ordered to clean out the oatmeal pot. At that moment, as the sun was breaking the new day, from the forest came a strange gruff chant...."Ohh eeee Ohh...Oh Ohhhhh Oh" Over and over again this call was heard. The brave soldiers of the 77th, the scouts, even Sign Talker who was present... all the men ran to the parapet and peered over. What a sight they did behold!!
For there, coming from the forest, led by the stinking, slimy, red Redbud, came the 12 Shawnee warriors, in a line. Redbud slipped and fell, screaming obscenities, rolling on the ground, frothing at the mouth, as the 12 blackened warriors marched behind him. "Ohh eeee Ohh ....Oh Ohhhhh Oh!" they chanted over and over. They marched to the stockade and stopped. At that moment, there came Calsious Robertson, oatmeal pot in hand, filled with boiling water which had loosened the sticky mess. He climbed to the parapet, so intent on his job of emptying the boiling water, that he did not hear all the men yelling to him. For racing around the stockade with his 12 warriors following him was Redbud, slipping, falling, screaming, leaving red trails on the ground, his chicken feathers blowing into the wind. Robertson lifted the pot and with one big slosh, threw the boiling water over the parapet, and at that exact moment, Redbud stopped, looked up and caught the boiling water across and all over his stinking obese red body!
A scream arose from the foul red lump of fat. Calsious looked on in amazement as a mist arose from the body and the red mass of Redbud began to shrink and flow into a mass of gelatinous red liquid. All the soldiers and all the people inside rushed to the parpet to watch this strange and most curious sight. From out of Redbud's mouth, which was fast disappearing into the mass of gelatin, came words of crying in a native tongue. Many Flags and Sign Talker shook their heads in disbelief, signing to each other furiously. At that, Malcolm and Davey demanded, "What is he crying? What, pray tell, is it?" Many Flags replied quietly...."This evil Redbud is dying and he is crying....I'm melting, I'm melting!"
In disbelief all the folk watched. And at that moment, the 12 blackened Shawnee warriors circled around what was left of Redbud, only a puddle of a red, slippery mass. The warriors looked at each other, they shrugged their soldiers, left out a giggle, turned and marched off in the direction of the 12 points of the compass never to be seen again.
Well, my little Highland niece and nephew. It was a sight. The melting death of evil itself. Redbud was wiped out. It was a Red Letter Day and all the Grenaiders, scouts, and townspeople came out to view what was left of the fat, stinking Redbud. He was nothing, just a mass of a pool of red jelly-like material. The Townspeople, being resourceful folk, began to gather the jelly-like Redbud leftovers into jars and buckets. The people had decided to use it for red dye, for red beer, for red gravy, well, for lots and lots of different things. A celebration was declared and Calsious was proclaimed a hero, The Killer of the Redbud, he was called. Oh, what a party they had that night!!
But, that wasn't the end of the Red Letter Day. For as the sun began to set, traveling to the Bedford stockade was sighted none other than Quasi and Angus. They had witnessed the whole "melting" experience and they not only came to celebrate but also, to give a package to the new Sargent, Malcolm MacWilliam. For, as Malcolm opened the package reverently, he grew quiet. Uncles Angus and Quasi slapped him on the back, for there in the package was his new Sargent's uniform....all the way from Philadelphia. Somehow the Uncles had gained possession of it so, it was again....a Red Letter Day.
At that, Dr. Uncle Mark stopped his story-telling. He believed that Hiram and Hannah may be asleep for they were so quiet. But, at once, the two looked up, and shouted with glee, "What a story, Dr. Uncle! Yippee!! Huzzah!! Redbud is dead....and.." They both grew quiet.
Hannah looked up at her Dr. Uncle. "Is that the end of the Chronicles, Dr. Uncle Mark? Please say NO!"
Dr. Uncle threw his dear nephew and niece into the air. Laughingly he shouted, "No, my dearies, my little Highlanders! Redbud is dead, but now the lads must travel to Fort Frederick....but that is another story for another day! Pax Aye!!"