Posted by Adele on March 04, 2001 at 13:59:20:
Okay, I would like to apologise in advance...it will save me a WHOLE lotta time later. If you want someone to blame, blame the Dutch Trader...she made me do it! And if you don't know what I am talking about......read on.....
CULTURAL DIFFERENCES:
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING DUTCH
You can get arrested for growing plants, but not for smoking them.
You can make jokes about the Belgians and still drink their beer.
You're exactly like the Germans, except that nobody hates you.
You think you are a world power, but everyone else thinks Copenhagen is your capital.
You get to insult people and defend yourself by saying it's a national tradition.
You can put your finger in a dyke and it will save your country.
You can legally kill yourself - You can legally be killed.
You live in the most densely populated country in Europe, and still you've never seen your neighbours.
If the economy is bad, blame the Germans. If a war is started, blame the Germans. If you lose your keys, blame the Germans.
Bikes are public property. Locks are a challenge.
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING FRENCH:
When speaking fast you can make yourself sound gay
Experience the joy of winning the World Cup for the first time
You get to eat insect food like snails, and frog's legs
If there's a war you can surrender really early
You don't have to read the subtitles on those late night films on Channel 4.
You can test your own nuclear weapons in other people's countries (Well who hasn't eh?)
You can be ugly and still become a famous film star
Allow Germans to march up and down your most famous street humiliating your sense of national pride
You don't have to bother with toilets, just s*** in the street
People think you're a great lover even when you're not
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING AMERICAN :
You can have a woman president without electing her
You can spell colour wrong and get away with it
You can call Budweiser beer
You can be a crook and still be president
If you've got enough money you can get elected to do anything
If you can breathe you can get a gun
You get to join wars late
You can play golf in the most hideous clothes ever made and nobody seems to care.
You get to call everyone you've never met "buddy"
You can think you're the greatest nation on earth
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING NORWEGIAN:
You get to pay the highest taxes in the world
You can kill baby seals and eat Rudolf the Reindeer
You live in total freezing darkness half the year and get 24 hour ozone-hole radiation the other half
You can get capital punishment for smoking dope
You can go skiing in your knickers
You get to hate the Swedes and beat the Brazilians in football
You have to be a woman to get anywhere
You don't need to worry about land prices rocketing - it's fairly spacious
When abroad you can impress people you meet with stories about killing polar bears and sex acts with penguins - and they believe you
You can actually get bored with blondes
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING ENGLISH :
Two World Wars and One World Cup-doo-dah, doo-dah
Proper beer
You get to confuse everyone with the rules of cricket
You get to accept defeat graciously in major sporting events
Union jack underpants
Water shortages guaranteed every single summer
You can live in the past and imagine you are still a world power.
Bathing once a week - whether you need to or not
Ditto changing underwear
Beats being Welsh.
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING SCOTTISH :
You ain't English!
You ain't English!
You ain't English!
You ain't English!
You ain't English!
You ain't English!
You ain't English!
You ain't English!
You ain't English!
You ain't English!
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING ITALIAN :
In-depth knowledge of bizarre pasta shapes
Unembarrassed to wear fur.
No need to worry about tax returns
Glorious military history prior to 400 b.c.
Can wear sunglasses inside
Political stability?
Flexible working hours
Live near the Pope
Can spend hours braiding girlfriend's armpit hair
Country run by Sicilian murderers
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING SPANISH :
Glorious history of killing South American tribes
The rest of Europe thinks Africa begins at the Pyrenees
You get your beaches invaded by Germans, Danes, Brits, etc.
The rest of your country is already invaded by Moroccans
Everybody else makes crap paella and claims it's the real thing
Honesty
Only sure way of bedding a woman is to dress up in stupid, tight clothes and risk your life in front of bulls
You get to eat bulls' testicles
Gibraltar
Supported Argentina in Falklands War.
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING INDIAN :
Chicken Madras
Lamb Passanda
Onion Bhaji
Bombay Potato
Chicken Tikka Masala
Rogan Josh
Popadoms
Chicken Dopiaza
Meat Boona
Kingfisher lager
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING WELSH:
You've got to be joking?
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING IRISH :
Guinness
18 children because you can't use contraceptives
You can get into a fight just by marching down someone's road
Pubs never close
Can use Papal edicts on contraception passed in second Vatican Council of 1968 to persuade your girlfriend that you can't have sex with a condom on.
No one can ever remember the night before
Kill people you don't agree with
Stew
More Guinness
Eating stew and drinking Guinness in an Irish pub at 3 in the morning after a bout of sectarian violence.
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING CANADIAN :
It beats being an American.
Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground.
You can play ice hockey 12 months a year, outdoors.
Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground.
Where else can you travel 1000 miles over fresh water in a canoe?
A political leader can admit to smoking pot and his/her popularity ratings will rise.
Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground.
Kill Grizzly bears with huge shotguns and cover your house in their skins
Own-an-Eskimo scheme.
Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING AUSTRALIAN:
Know your great grandfather was a murdering bar steward that no civilised nation on earth wanted.
Fosters Lager
Dispossess Aborigines who have lived in your country for 40,000 years because you think it belongs to you.
Cricket captain not afraid to cry live on TV.
Tact and sensitivity. NOT!
Bondi Beach.
Other beaches.
Liberated attitude to homosexuals
Drinking cold lager on the beach
Having a bit of a swim and then drink some cold lager on the beach.
TOP TEN REASONS TO BE A GERMAN:
You do not WANT to go to the Oktoberfest, you know it is sh*t
Cheap fantastic beer
Behave like you want, everybody hates you anyway
Expensive fantastic cars
Unlimited Autobahn
Who else lost two world wars??
Who else in europe won three world cups :-) :-) :-) ??
You can buy all neighbour countries...
But you are not stupid, you rent them in the summer
See number 2+4+5 = BIG FUN