Posted by Ye Olde TowneCrier on December 20, 2000 at 19:19:50:
Hi!
This evening, I found this X-Mas gift from the Canadian Trader, at my doorstep. As i opened the package and got very merry sampling it, I discovered that dear old CT had also included the recipe.
Well, being a generous soul, I've decided to share the recipe for this delicious, nutritious, and fun-fully delirious gourmet gift, with all my friend and foe at Lotmland!
Mmm - nice cake!
Vodka Xmas Cake Christmas Cake Ingredients:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1 cup of water
1 tsp baking soda
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp salt
1 cup of brown sugar
lemon juice
4 large eggs
nuts
1 bottle Vodka
2 cups of dried fruit
Sample the vodka to check quality.
Take a large bowl, check the vodka again.
To be sure it is the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.
Repeat.
Turn on the electric mixer.
Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.
Add one teaspoon of sugar.
Beat again.
At this point it's best to make sure the vodka is shtill OK.
Try another cup.... just in case Turn off the mixerer.
Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.
Pick fruit off floor.
Mix on the turner.
If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers pry it loose with a
sdrewscriver.
Sample the vodka to check for tonsisticity.
Next, sift two cups of salt. Or something. Who giveshz a sh!t.
Check the vodka.
Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.
Add one table.
Add a spoon ofsugar, or somefink.
Whatever you can find.
Greash the oven and piss in the fridge.
Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.
Don't forget to beat off the turner.
Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the vodka and kick the
cat.
Fall into bed.
CHERRY MISTMAS!
And.... Cheers! Hi Hip Hurrah! CT is a jolly good fellow, CT is a jolly gooooooood fellaaaaaaaa..... which nobody can deny .... nobody can deny.... nobody can deny..... teeeeheeee!!! yi[[[[ppppeeeeeee!