Posted by Continuing the Mohicanland Chronicles on September 24, 2000 at 12:39:50:
In Reply to: Re: Time for The Autumn Cleaning posted by Yet More Mohicanland Chronicles on September 24, 2000 at 09:35:31:
: : : : Well before first light, when the woods were yet silent and cold, and the river ran dark and heavy under a cover of morning fog, She Who Tracks La Longue Carabine slipped lightly into her bark canoe and pushed off into the gentle current. With Hector snuggled warmly against her legs, she plied her paddle quietly and set off toward the eastern settlements, where she would trade a few pelts for her final supplies before she struck off north toward the ruins of Fort William Henry and on into the wilderness in the search for game. Her heart lifted with the morning sun, as a gentle breeze slowly sent the layers of swirling fog upward past the treetops and into the pale blue of an early Autumn sky. With the Autumn Hunt ahead, can adventcha be far behind?
: : : : The Mohicanland Chronicles
: : : Meanwhile, in another part of Mohicanland......
: : : The Dutch Trader was drawing up an inventory of left-over Summer goods. "Bloody hell", she said, "what-tah-heck am I going to do with all this worthless stuff?" After some deep, spiritual soulsearching, she decided to consult Commander Achillse.
: : : The Commander advised: "Trash it. You'll feel better once you're done. Trust me. And, hey! Let's be careful out there. Where-tah-heck are my warrioresses? I hate to be unemployed. Can't you traders start another trade war?"
: : : The Commander was right, of course, and after trashing her place, DT felt absolutely more UP than she had all Summer. She decided to head over to Bumppo's to get seriously smashed and to beat the living daylights out of the Huggy Merchant. Who needs hugs anyway? Duh...
: : : DT was getting all excited at the prospects, but suddenly there was a knock on the door. What-tah-ya-know? It were the old trading buddies, E.Lane and the Canadian. They looked rather agitated and said.........
: : ****
: : "Hey! Hey! Hey! DT! Wah-Tah-Ya mean stirrin' up a Trade War without so much as a by your leave?!!! We want a cut of the action, too. Have you forgotten the vow you swore when we formed the Mohicanland Traders' Guild?"
: : DT, who was still seriously smashed & feeling UP, turned a bit red-faced & recited the vow;
: : "We love our gold,
: : We love our shillings,
: : But most of all,
: : We love a killing.
: : We promise with all solemnity,
: : To never steal, or kill, or unfairly cheat,
: : Without at first havin' gained approval,
: : From fellow Traders the gold's removal."
: : E. Lane nodded at DT's confession while Canadian simply said, "Show me the money, eh?"
: : "Okay," said DT, "it was a decent bootie. Selling Hugs is pretty lucrative!"
: : As DT went to get the loot, another knock knocked on the door.
: : "Hey! Hey! Hey! Let's be careful in there, people! Wah-Ta-Heck?!!!"
: : ...
: Barked Commander Achillse, looking pleased with herself. "Good old Huggy is running all over town, crying to everybody who wants to hear that she's been mistreated and mugged by the traders from hell."
: "Guess she needs a hug, eh," said the Canadian.
: DT and E.Lane smirked.
: "What you gonna do next? What's your strategy?" the Commander inquired.
: The traders exchanged puzzled looks. "Strategy? We never use that. We just create general mayhem all over the place. Sort of a Captain Chaos strategy, if you will. Then, when the dust settles, we check each other for vital signs and do a couple of high fives when we're okay. Nothing more to it."
: "Sounds like a solid plan," said the Commander, "Make it so. And let's be careful out there. Or not. Whatever. What-ta-heck is that awful noise outside?"
: ....
Meanwhile.......outside.......The Huggy Merchant, had stopped the French Trader, with the point of her extra sharp quill.
"Oy, I thought that my appointment to the Trader's Guild had been approved? Don't expect the remainder of the hugs I traded until you have sorted this out. See this black eye? How am I supposed to be huggy, charming and delightful.....with a SHINER? So, francais chien, what do you have to say about it?"
The French Trader looked somewhat shifty for a moment, and then, as is his wont, started laying on the charm......"Ma cherie, I will fix zis leetle problem, let me speak to the other traders, pas de problem".
The Huggy Merchant, not one given to an overly suspicious nature, finally relented, and withdrew her sharpened quill from the French Traders nether regions. "I am not bothered about the thievery", she said, grinning smugly, "that idiot Dutch Trader only managed to steal my chocolate coin collection - the other traders are gonna have a fit when they see the 'booty'". The Huggy Merchant threw back her head and laughed loudly, but when her eyes returned to the French Trader, they had an almost unrecognisable glint "You have 24 hours to FIX this", she hissed, with uncharacteristic venom.
The French Trader, adjusted his rather over the top red wool breech clout, regained his composure, and after an excessively flamboyant bow, disappeared into Bumppo's.
The Huggy Merchant, still somewhat peeved, headed off to Miss Marcia's for some genteel company and a little southern hospitality, whilst the sounds of angry voices could be heard behind Bumppos door.......
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