Posted by Red-Haired Lass on September 17, 2000 at 16:37:52:
In Reply to: Clouds over Mohicanland posted by Miss Katie on September 17, 2000 at 07:19:32:
: : Good Afternoon, My Dear Miss Katie,
: : I must make this rather brief, as I have a feelin' in my bones that there's a BAAAAAD wind a-blowin' down here in the SOUTHERN part of Mohicanland, and you know Miss Marcia always ends up hidin' under the bed when the lightning starts, so...to be brief:
: : yes, DO come by about 4-ish for our tea, if the bridge don't go and the creek don'r rise, as they say. We've LOTS to catch up on. For one thing, I will be most interested to hear further details about your experience down to Mervin's Meretricious Mercantile. I DO believe we are not talking about the same woman, at all. MY accoster wasn't 7' tall, nosirreeee...more like 7' WIDE, if you ask me. Sure felt like there was a lot o' HEFT behind that elbowin' & grabbin'!! So that means there's more'n one of 'em. Likely they run in pairs, doncha know!
: : And I want to hear more about that ole guy & his two sons, and all the troubles THEY manage to get themselves into. Scroundrels, I reckon...though I have heard tell they are pretty easy on the EYES, all three of 'em! (Not that *I*, being a genteel and RE-fined Southern lady, would LOOK, you understand!! Twouldn't be seemly, now would it?)
: : Anyway, I'll start on those huckleberry tarts, and get the teapot warmin', and be waitin' for you on my front porch. But DO keep watch on the weather, Dear Heart...don't want you arriving all soppy wet, or worse yet, gettin' lost or injured in a nasty storm. Be sure to bring along a parasol, and some dry slippers for your toesies! Until then,
: : Yours Most Graciously,
: : Miss Marcia
: : PS...I LOVE the sound of that quilt you have made for She-Who-Tracks! I just might have to avail myself of your fine stitchery services soon. I, myself, prefer the culinary arts to anything involving a needle and thread...pointy implements frighten my delicate sensibilities SO, doncha know!
: ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
: Ahhh, lovely cup o' tea, Miss Marcia,
: But I can't quite keep my eyes off that big, black cloud on the horizon!! Being fairly new to the Colonies, I don't have much experience o' weather patterns and deep depressions here in Mohicanland - but I got to say, that cloud does indeed look ominous!!
: What!! I mean 'beg pardon?!' Did you say 'lightnin'?! Just by the by, Miss, just how many beds do you have in this establishment?? For I have a bad feeling I may be required to check the depth of the pile on your carpets under your beds!!
: What?! That WAS the bridge??! I thought it was a FORD and I removed my shoes and stockin's - and waded over! I thought the bridge was further up! Mayhap that explains why Hector was howlin' on the bank like he'd been stung by every one o' the Calm Bee Nation!! Perhaps I should just mosey on home...
: What? You want to hear about my fracas with Miss Amazon '57 at Mervin's Meretricious Mercantile, before you let me go? Well, no, I agree it don't sound like the same 'attacker', Miss! I do believe you have the rights of it - there's a PACK of 'em!! A TEAM of 'grab and run' provision perloiners!! I declare there's no use gettin on to that Bent Copper - Bent Twigg!! If brains were dynamite, that man couldn't blow his nose!! Look at the way he left you stranded in the woods for oh, what was it? A week and a bit??! No - this is a job for Marshall Art, the STRONG arm of the law and NO mistake!!!
: That ole guy and his sons? Oh dear me, they ARE a SAD case, if ever there was one!! Now, you didn't hear it from ME, BUT - I hear that those three just can't get it together AT ALL!! Apparently, there is just NO countin' on those three!! Where were they when the Huron jumped out and was whuppin' the britches off the Brits on the George Road - Late!!! They were LATE!! Where were THEY when that nutter John Cameron tried pouring Kerosene on the Barbecue to get it lit - and promptly set fire to the house and had a killer of a job gettin' the fire out??! They were LATE!! And what about when that cute little Frenchie was giving Monro some grief up to Fort William Henry??! Where were those three? No prizes for guessin' - it's too easy!! They were ... absolutely!! LATE again!! Now you tell ME - who in this world is gonna trust that trio to do anything on time, NOW!! Nope, they have well and truly shot their bolt THERE!! Easy on the eye? Well, some say that is the way of it, Miss!! (Not that *I* been lookin' - except, of course, to check it out for YOU, Miss! Anything for a friend...).
: Ooooh, yes - huckleberry pie! Sounds... you picked these nearly two weeks ago? When you were lost out in the woods? Have they been stored in your ice house?? Well, I've been reading about 'Pylobactor' and 'Salmonella' and stuff ... Can't be too careful. Only affects brown haired people, with brown eyes who are over 7 feet tall and push and shove other shoppers?!! Oh well, I should be FINE then!! Yes, another slice would be lovely!! Course, I'm watchin' my weight! Oooh, yes - 2 sugars please..
: Miss Katie.
Miss Marcia, Miss Kate and all:
Just a short dispatch to put forth me gratitude for yer generosity. We're still totalin' up revenues from this weekend's hooo-haaaa at Bumppo's and so far it looks like there may be enough coppers to keep yer Wench employed! (So far, but we won't know exactly how much we made until we manage to wake up those six or seven wayward trappers and a few of Doc M's Hurons who are still under the billiards tables. I told 'em to be careful with them squeezins...they worked up quite a tab, might I add...and we still need to be collectin' from 'em...)
Just in advance, might I add that if bad weather befrights any of ye ye're welcome to come to Bumppo's or to my cabin. I'm thinkin' of whippin' up some shepherd's pie and readin' aloud from Robert Burns. There's no better way to spend a stormy night!
Me home is yours,
in gratitude,
yer Wench