Re: Yes, Virginia, There Is Gnome Butter

Name    : 
E-Mail  : 
Subject : 

Comments:
: : Doctor Mary recently had the following letter delivered to the
: : door of the Mohicanland Clinic via her faithful Huron Courier
: : Service:

: : Dear Doctor Mary,

: : I am 8 years old. Some of my little friends say there is no
: : such thing as Gnome Butter. Papa says, "Ask Doctor Mary. She
: : sees all, knows all." Please tell me the truth. Is there Gnome
: : Butter?

: : Virginia

: : 
: : Virginia, your little friends are wrong.( They wouldn't happen
: : to be 2 feet tall with pointy red hats would they? Yeah, I
: : thought so.) Yes, Virginia, there is Gnome Butter. Alas! How
: : dreary the world would be if there were not! How many itches
: : would not be soothed, how many butts would blister and burn,
: : how many delicate complexions would sag and wrinkle if that
: : were true! No Gnome Butter! Why, you might as well say there's
: : *gasp!* no Doctor Mary! Or no evil, nasty, pestilential little
: : Gnomes, for that matter! No Gnome Butter! Oy! You know the
: : mark-up kindly old Doc M gets on that stuff, child??? A
: : thousand years from now, Virginia, nay 10 times 10,000 years
: : from now, when Doc M is just reaching the prime of life,
: : Gnome Butter will continue to exist and make glad Doctor
: : Mary's accountant, Murray of Mohicanland.

: : Now quit bugging me or I'll turn you into a turnip! And
: : your little dog, too!!

: : Kissy! Kissy!

: : Doc M

: IS NOT!!  *PHHHHTTTTTTTTTT*

: Be careful Virginia, she is just trying to lure you to her pot.
: And please, please don't take any apples from her.  See her broom?  See those indians? They are called Huron my child, and they are quite dim-witted and easily distracted.
: See their bat-like wings and rather stupid expressions?  She sends them out to do her evil deeds.  Oh, but don't we wish a house would fall on her?  That's right my dear.  She does, she does indeed lie.  She even gets paid to lie (down) on occasion.
: A young Pennsylvania Dutch brother and sister once listened to her to their woe.  They were named Hansel and Gretl poor dears.

: Gnomes are your friends.  We have cute red hats.  She is evil.
: Look at her horribly retro black dress.  Tacky, no?  Look at her pointy shoes.....huge arent they?  Why, she has more hair on her chin than I do!  Of course, mine doesn't grow out of a huge wart.....look at my nice white beard?  Am I not similar to that jolly old man who visits you on Christmas?  Sure I am.  Have you see Wizard of Oz?  Does she not look like something you would love to throw water on?  

: That's right, run along home Virginia.  Bye bye.  

: *now it would make my day if I could just see a pair of Doc Mary's feet sticking out from under a huge three story colonial.*

: GnomeDome


Optional Link URL:  
Link Title:         
Optional Image URL: