Re: hoo haa equipment. wallet lifting, peach brandy musket-loading, wench-winch, no-waiting! Frenchie Traders

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: : : : : : : : : : : Doc Ma`am,
: : : : : : : : : : :  Oui! I am spending most of my time lately, in search of the more exotic herbs for you, but I must give you this one report. My "live" gnome catching is not going to well. I did try your idea of placing pop bottle tops full of brandy, in a line thru the forest, leading to my trap. But after hours of nothing, I went back to find your Huron boys, sitting very happily in a pile of empty pop tops. What am I to do? Oh yes, I have used most of my supply of gnome butter on my poison ivy rash!

: : : : : : : : : : : Scratching as he walks,
: : : : : : : : : : : French Trader

: : : : : : : : : : Gnome butter?  Gnome butter you say?  I hope that poison ivy rash of yours spreads all over your french roll, froggie.

: : : : : : : : : : And leave it to the witless French to bring brandy for gnome catching.  Have I not said it time and again - Tay-Kee-LA! I saw your pathetic french brandy in those caps...saw Doc's brainless Huron too.  If they got THAT skunked with your watery brandy then they GOTTA be cheap dates.  Course, cheap and Doc M kinda go hand in hand as phrases ya know?

: : : : : : : : : : GnomeDome
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: : : : : : : : :  You little wormy gnome. I would have darn well used tequila in the pop tops but you would have to drink something I can`t spell. And I`m glad I didn`t because lord knows what IT would have done to those Huron.

: : : : : : : : : French Trader.

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: : : : : : : : yeah, I have to agree with you there frenchie.  Those Huron are real "light weights" when it comes to drinkin'.  Course, if you think about it, they really don't have very many brain cells for the alcohol to work on..........
: : : : : : : : By the way.....how's your french roll?  Itching a bit?  hehe

: : : : : : : : GnomeDome
: : : : : : : _____________________________________________________

: : : : : : : Yeah Gnomie,
: : : : : : :  I do pretty good with that Mexican cactus water too. I bet we could put the whole bunch of Doc`s Huron Boy-toys under the table. (waitaminute! I ain`t posta be making friends with no gnome!) Aaah forgetit!!

: : : : : : : My roll and my tuck and some un-mentionables are itchin! And that gnome butter sure makes it hard to keep a breechclout in place.

: : : : : : : French Trader

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: : : : : : Aaahh so the FT is back in town.....you just mosey along to the House of Hoo-Haa Frenchie, and I will take your mind off that itching (nudge nudge wink wink say no more!)

: : : : : : YS
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: : : : : Mon cher Y Strumpet,
: : : : :  Tis true I am back in town but only long enough to become properly medicated. (by drink or lotion) And just where might this House of Hoo-Haa be located? I may just stick my head in as I pass for this ivy rash will not allow me to sit still for very long. I can asure you and the wee gnome that being French has nothing to do with having a slippery breechclout. Age maybe, but not nationality.

: : : : : French Trader

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: : : : For anyone interested, the House of Hoo-Haa is conveniently located just across the way from Bumppo's - spitting distance if you will (not that we allow any of that here, of course!).

: : : : I have to warn you Monsieur that a small queue (that means line for all your colonials) is forming, consisting mainly of dribbling persons waiting to apply lotion to your........er.......itch.  We have had to forcibly remove Doc Mary from the queue since she would keep trying to turn those ahead of her into turnips.  And someone had better notify Dweebie that he is in the wrong line!

: : : : By the way, my cousin Eclair managed to acquire some very fine (and very potent) poteen during a stopover in Ireland on her way over here.  It has to be handled rather carefully, since it makes you squiffy from the toes up.....but I can heartily recommend it!

: : : : So, we shall expect you later then......

: : : : YS
: : : ___________________________________________________________

: : : Ma`am Strumpet,
: : :  I thank you very much for your concern with my medical problem but I can assure you that a line so "long" is not needed to apply lotion on an area so "small". Also, due to the requirements of my HMO (Huron Medical Orginization) health coverage policy, I much stick with my primary care provider and that happens to be Doc Mary.(come to think of it, she`s the only provider on the list from which to choose) To violate the reguirements could cause me to loose all medical coverage.(now let`s think about this. Is it a bad thing?)In the mean time, I will do my best to hold my clout in place and not scratch in public in an offensive manner before reaching the good doctor`s office.

: : : French Trader

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: : Dear Monsieur, I will try not to take your rebuff personally, however, Eclair, with her Gallic sensitivity has taken your absence rather to heart.  I must go now, and pull her head out of barrel of poteen.

: : Another time then.......

: : YS

: I am not zzzzad, coussssine, nonnnn, non.  I was hoping zzz*hicup*eeee French Trader would not zee me.  I weel want no *burp* more lessons in ze English, Lucie.  Zee, I am much *buuurrrrp* better, oui?  Did you know, ma chere, there eesss no moostache on ze French Tra-uh-*burp*der?

: Eclair


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