Re: courtin' continues...

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: : : : : : : Well, it's been a sleepless weekend over at Bumppo's, due to a rather extra-rambunctious Huron Happy Hour and a sudden influx of new Huron customers. Seems last week's Intellectual Discussion Session followed by the cookout (still no sign of the English gent...) has gotten raves on the Huron grapevine. These particular guys are just dying to discuss Sun Tzu's "Art of War" with any and all comers at this week's session...it's also been sleepless for yours truly, due to the fact I've discovered my moonlight serenader is none other than Dweebie. Who might I ask taught the boy to play drums and squawl...I mean sing? I've tried all manner of beggin' and pleadin' and cajolin' to get him to stop, but he just says somethin' about bein' thrilled to see me in my nightdress...and then there he goes again. I'm afraid nothin' short of violence is goin' to convince the lad I'm not interested, but I really don't want to have to use the nice warclub my Huron Delivery Boy friend gave me. It's too pretty...and anyway, it would be a shame to knock the poor misguided lad silly just because he's love sick. Somebody help me, though...a Wench needs 'er sleep ye know. Cider-slingin' and bawdy songs isn't somethin' ye can do well when ye're dead on your feet...

: : : : : : ~~~~~~~

: : : : : : Oh dear, Red, yes.........we should have warned you about young Dweebie's tendency towards infatuation.  Just send him over to the Yengeese Strumpets House of Hoo-Haa on the pretext of needing to borrow a cup of sugar or something.  My dear cousin Eclair has nothing planned for the next night or two and I daresay she can keep him........um.........occupied for a while.

: : : : : : Oh by the way, I also seemed to have acquired two Hurons and a colonial that I think belong to you.  They stumbled around here in a state of confusion for a while after last weeks Intellectual Discussion Session and I can't seem to get rid of them.  It may have something to do with their perpetual state of inebriation, but they are becoming tiresome and are starting to make the place look untidy.  Besides one of the Hurons took offence at the look of one of my customers on Saturday and took a tomahawk to his scalp.......Sherrif Twigg is starting to ask questions, albeit rather slowly, and with no relevance at all to the incident........but hey, you never know.

: : : : : : So how about an exchange?  Walk over with young Dweebie tonight and we will distract him whilst you return with your three chaps.  If you can stay a while I have some lovely scones and clotted cream just begging to be eaten.....

: : : : : : Miss Lucie Lastik (Yengeese Strumpet)

: : : : : Ah, ma chere cousine, does zees Dweebie have ze moostache?  Eclair ees crazy for ze moostache!

: : : : : Eclair

: : : : 
: : : : Dweebie had, regrettably, a bit of a hormonal problem 
: : : : during puberty, so if I were you I wouldn't get too set
: : : : on a moostache...or much else. His rough-hewn and rowdy
: : : : classmates at Reverand Wheelock's school didn't nickname
: : : : him "jingle bells" for nuttin'.

: : : : Doc M

: : : Yengeese and Eclair, 
: : : Many thanks for helpin’ me out with this exchange. I’ll be bringin’ the lad over at about 8 p.m, if that pleases ye. First I’ve got to get him cleaned up because seems as the Nice Huron Delivery Boy roughed him up a little bit. He said that’s what they do to stalkers where he comes from, but I had to explain that poor Dweebie wasn’t a stalker, just lovestruck. Why, the Red Haired Lass remembers that feeling, the desperate things ye do, like shinnyin’ up the walls of a fort in search of a particular highland laddie...but I di-gress. Anyway, I’ll be over there at the House o’HooHaa this evening and will be so happy to get back the other three lads. They’ve been lookin’ for that poor disconsolate soldier hither an’ yon and barely leavin’ Mrs. O’Reilly and me time to restock the bar...
: : : (And Eclair, well, yes, Dweebie ain’t much on the moustache de-partment, but he usually has a chipmunk pelt on him. Maybe paste it to his face and he might even look a little pirate-like, ye know?)
: : : Just hopin’,
: : : Red. 
: : :  

: : 
: : Eclair will be ready and waiting with ze bells on!  I found ze muffs and ze bells in my trunk.  I knew ze bells would come in handy one of ze days.  Oui, oui, Red, zees night will be for Dweebie, ze best, I think!  He will be cured of those shortbread cravings, Eclair will zee to that!  Ze HooHaa House never turns aways ze customer, not even ze jingling dweebies!

: : Eclair

: 
: Eclair, ye be me savior! I've had a wee fright this evenin',findin' out about a prior ordinance that might have married me to yon Dweebie lad. Mind ye, I'm fond of his chipmunk-bringin' self, but I've quoted before me qualifications for a fine man, and one that can't even hold his cider-spritzers needs some work! So this evenin' I bring him to ye with all good faith,  knowin' that ye've got muffs, and bells, and the good Lord knows what all in the House of Hooo-Haaa that may provide him some joy and manly comfort. Meanwhile, Mrs. O'Reilly has givenme anearly night off and the Red-Haired Lass believes she'll go home an' curl up with the cats, some warm milk and shortbread, and Robert Burns' poetry. It's fashin' me dearly,believe me this, that I've provoked such passion an' conflict in me new employment. The Huron Delivery Boy will give me an evenin' foot rub, I believe, and then I shall curl up in me eiderdown and squirrel meself away. Oh by the way, the Intellectual Gatherin' shall take place tomorra night, and if any of ye be versed in the "Art of War..." the Huron lads are ready to spot ye some Glenlivet and discuss away...
: pax aye, in distressed Wenchhood, I remain
: yer Red-Haired Lass


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