Re: Trade Wars With the Far East

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: : : : Allooooo la Francais, la Canadienne Traders and le Yinglees Traders!
: : : : I am sick and tired of the Far Eastern Yejuj Mejuj invading the borders of our LOTMland. 
: : : : Let's meet at Bumppo's and prepare the declaration to all and sundry that we hold a monopoly on the trading activities here!
: : : : Remember, the Yejuj Mejuj built the Great Wall to stop me and my comrades from raiding their land, and truth be told, never succeeded in keeping us off it. For we got the scimitars, curved handle bar mustaches, kimiz drink and a Mighty Ho! temper Plus Brains and Brawns!
: : : : If our Pen should not stop these Pretenders to Tradesmanship, our Swords shall take up the slack!

: : : 
: : : ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

: : : Now, now, Turkish Trader - I do hope that you will still be allowing the Huggy Merchant to be trading her wares.  I see that you are knowledgeable of Edward Lytton's splendid quote

: : : "Beneath the rule of men entirely great,
: : : The pen is mightier than the sword"

: : : and must therefore, be willing to allow a humble trader of words, wit and warmth to continue to do so........no?

: : : Of course, you might want to stop that Yengeese Strumpet from trading HER particular wares - as I think that the genteel ladies of these parts are none to happy with her 'flaunting her goods'.... and for some reason Sheriff Twigg is not being particularly swift in dealing with this matter.

: : : Yours

: : : The Huggy Merchant

: : Dear Huggy Merchant,

: : Now then, I am not quite sure what action you anticipate against the Yengeese Strumpet.  She has done nothing against the law, so far as I can see, and frankly, I rather fancy the lady's personality.  How many settlements can boast a Tart With a Heart, after all?  You have to admit, she's not about to present any competition for Doc M.  Yes, indeed, I believe a kindly (not to mention attractive) strumpet will add a touch of class to our bawdy elements.  I understand she is seeing a lot of Dweebie Day-Lewis, and goodness knows, if anybody could use a gentle influence, that boy can!  He's going around looking downright placid lately.

: : Sheriff Benton (Just Call Me Bent) Twigg

: ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

: Well, hello, sweet Sheriff!  So nice of you to rush to the defence of this painted lady!  And to talk of my 'personality'...hee hee...I know it is more my PERSON that you admire rather than my personality.

: And as for that wee dear boy, Dweebie...well he has been sidling around the Yengeese Strumpets House of Hoo-Haa rather a lot recently, in a rather coy, delightful, boyish way....methinks the boy might soon become a man!!

: Drop by soon, Sheriff - and I will have a brandy awaiting you...

: The Yengeese Strumpet (swinging hips seductively as she glides away)


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