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Monadnock Guide
Council of Elders
USA
Bumppo's Patron since [at least]:
March 14 2005
Status: offline
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 Posted - July 12 2010 : 10:24:18 AM
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A Friendly Rivalry
The Australians and the New Zealanders or Kiwis, as they are popularly called have long had a friendly rivalry, a rivalry that makes it into their humor. In todays installment, I share a joke told from the Kiwi perspective. Next week, Ill give the Aussies a turn
A Kiwi ventriloquist visiting Australia walks into a small village and sees a local sitting on his veranda patting his dog.
He figures he'll have a little fun, so he says to the local, G'day, mind if I talk to your dog?
Villager: The dog doesn't talk, you stupid Kiwi.
Ventriloquist: Hello dog, how's it going, mate?
Dog: Yeah, doin' all right.
Aussie (look of extreme shock)
Ventriloquist: Is this villager your owner? (pointing at the villager)
Dog: Yep.
Ventriloquist: How does he treat you?
Dog: Yeah, real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food, and takes me to the lake now and again to play.
Aussie: (look of utter disbelief)
Ventriloquist: Mind if I talk to your horse?
Aussie: Uh, the horse doesn't talk either... I think.
Ventriloquist: Hey horse, how's it going?
Horse: Cool.
Aussie: (absolutely dumbfounded)
Ventriloquist: Is this your owner? (Pointing at the villager)
Horse: Yep.
Ventriloquist: How does he treat you?
Horse: Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, brushes me down often, and keeps me in the shed to protect me from the elements.
Aussie: (total look of amazement)
Ventriloquist: Mind if I talk to your sheep?
Aussie (in a panic): The sheep's a compulsive liar.
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A compulsive liar, ...
