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You know how you can feel that ‘something ain’t right, you just can’t put your finger on it’? Well… I always felt that way about the scene on the lake. And then one day, it just came to me what was wrong. Anyone notice that after the massacre, as Duncan paddles like fury over Lake James, he has this overwhelming need to move from one canoe to the other?? Talk about ants in his pants!!

As Hawkeye and party push off from the lakeside, he and his paddling crew start off in their canoe which is decorated with a motif of a red sun, on a blue background, surrounded by a red circle. We don’t see it but Duncan also goes paddling off. As he stands up and delivers his immortal line ‘When you fall into British hands again, I’ll have you hanged!’, you can see quite clearly his canoe is exactly the same (only his is decorated with a motif of a blue sun, red background and surrounded with a black circle), and there’s NO reason he should be ashamed to be seen in it!! HOWSEVER, I can only assume he feels that a red sun and blue background makes your canoe go faster, ‘cause when we see him next, he’s paddling right up there with Hawkeye’s canoe (so WHY does he need Uncas to get that beautiful hair wet and help him paddle????) he’s traded his ole ‘blue sun, red background’ canoe for a ‘red sun/blue background’ one like Hawkeye’s! Well, okay… fair enough. There’s NO DISPUTIN’ – Hawkeye is ‘cool’, he’s ‘the man’ and quite frankly, HE GOT THE GIRL! So perhaps changing his ‘blue sun/red background’ canoe for one like Hawk’s might be no bad thing. On the other hand, for some folks, NOTHING can make a difference! However, I digress!

Well… they’re ‘headin’ for the river’ in identical canoes and real sudden-like, they turn left into the river mouth. Guess what?? They’re paddlin’ along that river like all the fureys o’ hell are after them, when all of a sudden, Duncan’s decidin’, ‘I’m NOT going over that waterfall in a canoe with a red sun and blue background!! NOPE, I’m NOT GONNA DO IT!! And SUN (if you’ll pardon the pun!) of a gun!! If he don’t hop out o’ THAT canoe – into a canoe with a BLUE sun/red background – and go right off the edge o’ the falls in IT!! HOWSEVER, apparently these canoes are only good for pushing OFF o’ waterfalls!! ‘Cause when he LANDS at the bottom, he’s in the ‘red sun/blue background’ canoe again!!! And all the while I’m thinkin’ “WHEN IS THAT GUY GONNA MAKE UP HIS MIND WHICH CANOE HAS THE COMFIEST SEAT?????”

Well… Duncan obviously doesn’t care WHAT I think of this game of musical canoes, ‘cause he feels the need to annoy me JUST ONE MORE TIME!! Though he gets OUT OF ‘red sun/blue background’ canoe, guess which one he and Uncas push off to go over the next waterfall??? You betcha!! The ‘blue sun/red background’ canoe…

And he wonders why he doesn’t get the girl???? Well, you may not see it my way but… I can’t help asking myself… if that man can’t commit to a darned CANOE, how THE HECK can I expect him to ‘commit’ to a woman????? Ye see where I’m goin’ with this??

My gut tells me it’s a blooper! But my imagination says ‘Blooper’ my eye! I betcha this is Duncan’s way of drawing attention to himself, hoping that Cora will be impressed with his ability to jump in and out of a canoe and still keep up with Hawkeye et al. Well… it doesn’t work for ME! It just annoys the hell out of me!! DUNCAN, CHOOSE A CANOE – AND STAY IN IT!! Is my feelin’s on the whole business!!

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