| Author |
 Topic  |
|
|
Obediah
Mohicanland Statesman
USA
Bumppo's Patron since [at least]:
August 16 2006
Status: offline
Donating Member |
 Posted - August 29 2007 : 12:18:04 AM
|
Men Are Just Happier People_*_ _
What do you expect from such */simple/* creatures?
Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can be President.
You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
Graying hair adds attraction.
Wedding dress~$5000. Tux rental~$100.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
Everything on your face stays its original color.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life.
Your belly usually hides your big hips.
One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
No wonder men are happier.
|
|
report to moderator
|
|
|
Light of the Moon
Mohicanland Statesman
USA
Bumppo's Patron since [at least]:
December 18 2004
Status: offline
|
 Posted - August 29 2007 : 10:31:45 AM
|
I got that in an email the other day and LOL!
As Dolly Parton said in one of her songs, "It's the only time that I wish I had been a man. But if I was a man, you know what that would mean? If I was a man I'd be some where right this very minute with some raggin ', naggin' , hateful woman whose suffering from those PMS Blues !"
Y'all might get a lot of stuff easy but you sure pay for it in other areas!! |
I live in my own little world - but that's okay, they know me here! |
report to moderator  |
|
|
Irishgirl
Council of Elders
USA
Bumppo's Patron since [at least]:
February 14 2006
Status: offline
Donating Member |
|
|
Light of the Moon
Mohicanland Statesman
USA
Bumppo's Patron since [at least]:
December 18 2004
Status: offline
|
Posted - August 29 2007 : 3:22:35 PM
|
| Believe son and thanks for sending it! I really needed the laugh that day! |
I live in my own little world - but that's okay, they know me here! |
| report to moderator |
|
|
Light of the Moon
Mohicanland Statesman
USA
Bumppo's Patron since [at least]:
December 18 2004
Status: offline
|
Posted - August 29 2007 : 6:27:35 PM
|
| Hey Irish, have you read the "Men are Like" email? I'll send it to you just in case. But it's worth a good laugh! |
I live in my own little world - but that's okay, they know me here! |
| report to moderator |
|
|
RedFraggle
Mohicanite
Bumppo's Patron since [at least]:
October 13 2006
Status: offline
|
Posted - August 29 2007 : 7:19:41 PM
|
"You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt."
That's me in my house. My hubby and I just moved to a new apartment, and I was the one to assemble my desk and the dressers, hang all the curtains, put together the bed, move the furniture where it is supposed to go, and adjust the chains on the toilets for better flushing. He played video games and put books on shelves.
"One mood all the time."
I don't think my husband got the memo on that one.
"A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase."
Again, I don't think my husband got the memo on that one. I, on the other hand, am constantly chided by my Mom for refusing to check baggage. Two weeks visiting the parents? One carry-on and a purse.
"Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack."
$3 for 3 pair at Old Navy clearance, baby! It's what the grad student budget requires.  |
| report to moderator |
|
|
blackfootblood
Devoted Tribal Member
USA
Bumppo's Patron since [at least]:
May 22 2007
Status: offline
Donating Member |
Posted - August 29 2007 : 9:10:31 PM
|
Love this post, Obi!!! And Red, the comment about the underwear, too funny!! 
"Car mechanics tell you the truth"
Let's say in my marriage, I'm the one who has to take the vehicles into the garage. Trust me, I know a thing or two about vehicles and what's under the hood. I'm upfront with the mechanics and let them know I'm not an idiot. Shuts em' up pretty quick! 
"The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected"
Well I don't mean to sound rude or let you think that I'm no lady, but I can totally whip my husband when is comes to belching! Plus every other guy as a matter of fact. 
|
"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain!"
"Live well, love much, laugh often!" |
| report to moderator |
|
|
Obediah
Mohicanland Statesman
USA
Bumppo's Patron since [at least]:
August 16 2006
Status: offline
Donating Member |
Posted - August 30 2007 : 01:06:57 AM
|
RE: nuts & bolts. It's "righty tighty, lefty loosey." Unless, of course, you're working on an old Crysler vehicle, in which case it depends on which side of the car you are on!
BTW, I received this in an email from my pastor! He send me all kinds of neat stuff... |
| report to moderator |
|
|
Wilderness Woman
Watcher of the Wood
USA
Bumppo's Patron since [at least]:
November 27 2002
Status: offline
Donating Member |
Posted - August 30 2007 : 08:42:34 AM
|
"Everything on your face stays its original color."
 Ummmm.... then how do you guys explain all of those gray beards and mustaches I see? |
"It is more deeply stirring to my blood than any imaginings could possibly have been." |
| report to moderator |
|
|
Obediah
Mohicanland Statesman
USA
Bumppo's Patron since [at least]:
August 16 2006
Status: offline
Donating Member |
Posted - August 30 2007 : 09:42:50 AM
|
Option 1) "Graying hair adds attraction."
Option 2) (The late, great) Tammy Baker.
Option 3) How to you gals explain your moustaches?
Take your choice! |
| report to moderator |
|
|
Light of the Moon
Mohicanland Statesman
USA
Bumppo's Patron since [at least]:
December 18 2004
Status: offline
|
Posted - September 01 2007 : 1:03:40 PM
|
quote:
Originally posted by Obediah
Option 1) "Graying hair adds attraction."
Option 2) (The late, great) Tammy Baker.
Option 3) How to you gals explain your moustaches?
Take your choice!
Here's your answer, Obi:
#1 I would hide the grays unless they look good on you.
#2 Never wear your makeup as dark as Tammy Baker's unless you're going to a costume party or are on some kind of catwalk.
#3 Wax the stache and let on like you've never had one!
|
I live in my own little world - but that's okay, they know me here! |
| report to moderator |
|
| |
Topic |
|
![The Mohican Board! [Bumppo's Redux!]](images/wwwboard.gif "The Mohican Board! [Bumppo's Redux!]")
Men are happier...
